Let me ask you, where do you see yourself at the age of 30? Scary question right? Yet I am sure we all have some sort of expectations of where we will be in our lives, whether it’s certain accomplishments or certain lifestyle choices. Daunting isn't it?
If I ask you to list a handful of today’s biggest celebrities I am sure a few of them, if not all that pop in your head, are under the age of 30. They have all the money in the world, the best clothes, the best cars, everything. While here I am digging around the bottom of my purse and searching all my pockets for 40 cents to pay for a $5 coffee.
Maybe being 30 isn't all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, what do I know about being 30? I’m only 22. But after conducting highly scientific research through Bumble, Tinder, and word of mouth, I have a new perspective on what it’s like to be 30. Well, a 30 year old, single, good looking guy in New York City.
When using dating apps I set my age range preference from 23-32. We’re talking about the guys who still don’t know how to remove a stain from a white shirt to pro athlete age range. Just being honest here. Is it strange to be interested in the fresh out of college and in love with Old Row guy, but also be interested in the financial accountant who wears an Armani suit to work everyday guy? I don't think so. Perhaps I’m just part of the fabulous age when my options seem almost unlimited.
What I’ve learned from participating in the dating pool for a little while is that it seems like the 30 year old guys are no smarter than the 23 year old guys.
I went on a few dates with a guy who is 31 and I was stunned by the lifestyle he was still living. He had an extremely successful job at a law firm, yet it seemed he hadn’t grown up at all since he turned 22. He loved talking about all the good times he had in college, which he proudly stated consisted of nothing other than wild parties and nonstop drinking. I noticed from the stories he shared that he seemed to only hang out with friends from high school and college. No one else, no one new. The only difference between him and a 22 year old is that he had the responsibility of working from 9-5. That’s it. Is it weird that his lifestyle surprised me?
Just because I have projections of where I want to be by 31 doesn't mean he has anywhere near the same projections as me. What does it mean to be an adult? Is it a certain age? Is it an ideology? Is it doing your own laundry instead of sending it out? Is it living by yourself instead of sharing a flexed 1 bedroom with 2 other Craigslist roommates?
When I told two of my friends about how I was going out with this 31 year old kid, I got mixed opinions. My one friend said he is definitely too old for me because at that age he will expect things to become serious, not right away, based off of the stories I told her, but she says he’s at the age where he’ll realize it’s not all fun and games anymore. The other friend I discussed this with says that I should keep dating him because it’s cool to say I’m dating such an older guy, and with his maturity level his age doesn't even matter.
This weird alternate universe we enter after college oftentimes called ‘adulthood’ is certainly different than what it looks like on TV, and everyone seems to be moving at a slow pace in certain aspects. Sure you can have a chic wardrobe, but you certainly won’t have rent in on time after dropping $400 on those shoes. Sure you can be an expert in wine tasting, but you might also be drinking a little more than you should 4 nights of the week. And sure you can work long hours, which causes you to send your laundry out, because you feel you don't have the time to do it, but then you never learn how to actually do your own laundry.
Being successful before 30 isn't just black and white, either you have your act together or not. You could say there are a few shades of grey in there, perhaps even fifty. We all have different priorities of how we want to see ourselves succeed, and we have to keep in mind it isn’t fair to project those ideas onto others, no matter how awful the hot doctor’s shoe collection is.
You do you.
