If you have ever gone on a family road trip, you understand that there are some hilarious, sentimental, and jaw-dropping moments that are unexplainable to friends back home. And if you ever try to explain those moments, your words just don’t really do that particular moment justice. I am currently on a three week road trip with my family to Indiana from California (brave, I know). Most moments on this trip seem unimportant and not worthy of a note since we are in the car for seven hours a day, but there have been some real zingers that are funny without context and without knowing my family. In all honesty, this article is for me, but it can also be applicable to anyone who has a close family and knows how to pick out the stellar moments from the monotony of the daily life. So, to get to it, here are some things that I never expected I would hear on my family road trip.

1. “We’ll be home for dinner in half an hour, we are just finishing up at Olive Garden.” –South Bend, Indiana

2. “Sir, please don’t throw up on me.” –Nashville, Tennessee

3. “Mom, you just ran over a grave and hit a headstone with the car. We’re all going to hell.” –Martinsville, Indiana

4. “Who’s that lady painted on the wall?” “That’s Jesus, Grandma… that’s Jesus.” –South Bend, Indiana

5. “I thought he came up to us to beg for money, turns out they are just nice here.” –backwoods of Oklahoma

6. “Please don’t let me die in this McDonald’s.” –Louisville, Kentucky

7. “Did that guy just kick a duck?” –South Bend, Indiana

8. “Where the eff is Effingham?” –Effingham, Illinois

9. “So this is the headquarters of the KKK.” -Martinsville, Indiana

10. Hearing an Indiana man impersonate someone from California in a valley girl voice: “OMG let’s take the 10 to the 55 to the 60 to the 101 and go to lunch.” -Martinsville, Indiana