It doesn't feel good. A combination of worry and stress. A blend that gives way to helplessness and despair. A feeling that sticks and burns into my core. All I want to do is help, but I can't find a way. There's a smile, but I know you aren't smiling. You don't want the attention or worry of your friends. But I witness your pain, and can only wish that I could absorb some of your burden for you. It is something that all of us have felt at some point or another. We never know when tragedy will strike, but we all share the impact when it happens upon someone we love. Someone they loved is no longer around, and they don't know what to do. We may not feel this same loss, but we know how much that loss has impacted the life of our friend. We don't know their feelings, but we wish we could. It is a mix of emotions that we are left to sort out ourselves.
When a loved one feels such pain. I only want to change your world. To take on the worries for you. However, it is something I can't do for you. But I know you, and I know you have the strength to overcome this. I know that you have an indomitable spirit that is willing to shoulder any burden. If it was up to you, this is how it would be. You would rather take on the pain yourself than to allow your friends to find themselves in these situations. Your unselfishness is admirable and unwavering.
If that spirit ever falters, I will be here to help. I will be there when the burdens try to break you, and I will be someone that you can always count on for support. I might be helpless now, but that doesn't mean that I have to remain that way. I know you, my friend. You will get through this, and there is light at the end of this tunnel. It is a tough time for you, but the weight is not lost on your friends. I am proud to have a friend like you, and I know that this obstacle is one you will overcome. I have felt helpless, but I hope this helps you.
One day, you will smile again.