Being a college student, I have learned a lot of things about life, both from personal experience and in the classroom.
But if I had to choose one lesson that landed the hardest out of any of them, it would be that the weeks between Thanksgiving break and Christmas break are the longest few weeks of our lives. These intermediate weeks feel like a tedious mess of extreme convolution. Stuck in the middle of this holiday season time warp, I decided to ditch my actual studies (as one must do to withhold sanity in these trying times) and perform extensive research that quantifies the actual length of the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I have collected scientific data (that is completely false), and now present you with seven things that aren't quite as long as the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
1. Medusa, the longest snake ever
The Guinness World Records says that Medusa, a reticulated python, is the longest snake in captivity at 25 feet and 2 inches long. This is long (for a snake), but just not enough to put up a fight against the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
2. Sequoia trees
The tallest trees in the world grows to a height averaging at 150-280 feet high. Although this is pretty tall, if you were to lay this tree on its side and do some quick conversion factors, it would not even compare to the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
3. The Nile River
The Nile River is the longest river in the world, but is it longer than the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Well, since it's included in this list, you're probably assuming that it is not. And, indeed, 4,258 miles is not longer than the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
4. A marathon
This comparison was a little bit harder to calculate. 26 miles is clearly shorter than the 4,258 miles of the Nile, so it seems like a no brainer that a marathon should be shorter than the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. If A > B and B > C, then A > C, right? Well, it was a little more complicated. When you multiply the effort exerted into a marathon with the actual length it…yeah, it's still not as long as the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
5. The Great Wall of China
13,170 miles? Nice try, China.
6. The Equator
At 24,901 miles, this imaginary line is the longest part of our earth. But is it longer than the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas? The results were close, but only because I forgot to carry the 6 in my calculations. After some reworking, the equator got left in the dust.
7. The other 330ish days of the year
The calculations for this one seemed a little difficult. I knew that, on the surface, it seemed that the majority of the year would outweigh the specific season I was researching. And I'll admit, I could not come across any concrete evidence. But somehow, I am just one hundred percent positive, the length of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is eons longer than the rest of the year.
So there you have it. If you, like me, are struggling to stay afloat during this rough patch, know that there is, in fact, good reason as to why, and know, as well, that you are not alone. If Medusa, the reticulated python can grow to be that freakin' terrifying, you can certainly get through this.