Your Ego is Keeping You from Building Lasting Relationships
We can all do better by putting our phones down and being present.
I don't mean to be one of those "our generation is SO self-absorbed and entitled" blah blah blah people, but I can't help but agree to an extent. I've connected with some of my best friends today from texting back and forth or casually following each other on Instagram. When I'm alone, I'm happy to relax and scroll through my phone, but there's always an abundance of tweets I notice from people complaining about "having no friends" or "everyone hates me!"
Some of those same people are usually the ones in a group of people still with their noses stuck in their phones. Maybe it's a coping mechanism for social anxiety or insecurity, but it's not doing anyone any favors. You will never meet new people or build relationships if you don't even try.
I do my best to keep my phone down when I'm with my friends, and especially when I'm with new people. Maybe it's from maturing with age or from new confidence, but I've realized that building relationships and being present with people is way more fulfilling than letting an ego get in the way.
How many times have you been in a social setting and people would rather scroll through Twitter than socialize? How many times have you tried making a new friend and they blow you off to stare at their phone screen? I really don't understand the benefit of doing that. It's become easier to brush these negative interactions off my shoulders because I can recognize that it comes from a place of insecurity.
The impact of spreading kindness and positive interactions is limitless. The very best people in my life are those that would go out of their way to be inclusive and friendly. I used to admire traits like this and would think "I wish I could just talk to people like that." The funny thing is, as soon as I started being more conscious of using my phone less and socializing more, I realized we can all improve on this.
"I don't know what to talk about with new people" is not even a good excuse. Asking what people like to do for fun, complimenting their hair our clothing and asking where it's from, asking where people go to school or what they do for work are all easy topics to start with. There have been plenty of times that I assumed that I might not have something in common with a person I'm talking to, but I'm almost always surprised that we can relate to each other with at least one thing.
It's not about what others can do for you, it's what you can do for someone else. I've met so many people that only care to talk to others that can benefit them in some way. I would hate to be friends with someone that only cared when it was convenient for them. Your social media follower count is not going to help you through the hard times in life, and it's not going to make you feel fulfilled when you shut out real people just to establish yourself online.
