I Was Recently Harassed On Campus, And Here's What I Walked Away Knowing
I was recently harassed on campus, and it turned into an eye-opening experience on victim-shaming.
May 20th 2019
4:02 pm
I was walking across campus from my internship to work when I was approached by three young men. They had backpacks, so I assumed they were UW students just like me. When they asked me if they could interview me for a class project, I didn't hesitate or think twice. We've all been there; hell even I have asked fellow students to take a survey or answer a few questions.
One of them moved to stand next to me, and I watched him pull up the voice recorder on his phone. Another one held up his phone to the start the video. Nothing out of the ordinary.
The boy next to me asked my for my name and major, which I willingly provided. Then he asked me, "What's the craziest thing you've ever done?"
I didn't think it was that weird of a question - maybe it was for a psych class or something?
I told them about travelling cross-country and going bridge-jumping at my last college.
He informed me that wasn't he meant.
He went on to ask me about my craziest sexual experience, and then gave graphic examples of what he meant, what he wanted to do to me.
My face felt like it was burning.
"Excuse me?" I could feel my stomach in my throat, and my breathing started to become erratic.
He repeated what he said.
"You know that's sexual harassment, right?"
He looked at me unphased, and even alittle confused.
"No, it's not. How?"
I took off in the opposite direction towards the Campus Safety building and made my way to the nearest bathroom. I put my head against the cool tile on the wall trying to regulate my breathing.
Why did they think that was okay? Am I overreacting? They probably don't know what they did wrong, or why what they did was wrong.
I called my best friend from the bathroom, crying. I told her everything. I questioned my reaction to the situation; I am known to be reactionary and overreact when I'm taken off-guard or upset. She affirmed to me that what they said wasn't okay, that I should go to campus security, at the very least it would stop them from doing it again.
I reported them to Campus Security. They were fantastic throughout the entire process. They brought in an advocate, who helped me understand my options and offered follow-up counseling. I decided to file a police report against the boys.
We live in a world where women automatically question their own emotions and actions when something like this happens. They blame themselves. They try to think of everything they did wrong, how they could have prevented it.
The common thought: It's my fault.
We have taught women to think that harassment and assault is their fault.
I believed it was my fault.
Even though it was broad daylight, in the middle of campus, I know better than to walk alone. I thought those two factors would prevent something like this from happening. But it didn't.
I knew better than to talk to strangers. Aren't we taught from a young age not to talk to strangers? I thought I was helping out a fellow student, just like I would want to be helped if the situation were reversed. They used that against me.
I told myself, "I should have done this… I shouldn't have done that…."
It was my fault.
Why are their actions my fault? How does the victim always manage to get blamed?
When I told my mom what happened, she told me she was really proud of me for going to Campus Security and the Police.
"Isn't that what you're supposed to do?"
"You'd be surprised how many people don't. They convince themselves they're overreacting, that they did something wrong. They don't think anything will happen if they speak out."
We've taught women that it's not okay to speak out when things like this happen; that their voice doesn't matter and won't make a difference.
I recognize that I did what I needed to in this situation, and that the ultimate outcome is outside of my control. I don't know what will happen down the road for those boys, if justice will be served. But I do know that by sharing what happened, I made people aware that it happened. How can we stop something if we don't know it's happening?
By speaking out I made the Officers aware that it happened, and they were able to find them and stop them from doing it to someone else. It sent the message that this kind of behavior is not okay.
When one person speaks out it gives the next person the courage to do the same. And then the next. Until eventually, and hopefully, something gets done about it.
One voice will eventually turn into the roar of a crowd. And maybe then we can actually do something about it.
Please say something.
A special thanks to the UW-Tacoma Campus Safety Officers, the Tacoma Police Department, and the Office of Advocacy and Support for all of their help, support, and guidance.
Melania Trump, We're Going To Focus On What You Wear AND What You Do Because Both Are Bad
I don't even want to hear the bullshit excuse about her not knowing the significance of the pith hat. If people on Twitter know the history of the helmet, she should too!
Former nude model and current First Lady, Melania Trump, seemed to be an innocent victim of Donald Trump's narcissism, gross stupidity, and overall bigotry. Whenever she looked absolutely disgusted while in his presence, or snatched her hand away from his grasp, a little ping shot through my heart. "Poor Melania," I would think to myself.
Melania Trump Hates Holding Donald's HandSource
Her lack of warmth and adoration for her husband always seemed to be an indicator that she hated him, and I automatically equated that to her hating his political views. I mean, what is there to love about a misogynist and racist? I silently rooted for her, hoping that one day she would divorce him, take all of his money, and write a tell-all book with photos and audio tapes to match.
It seems like my hopes for her will never be realized, as it appears that Melania is just as ignorant and offensive as her husband.
A few months ago, Melania was spotted wearing a jacket that said, "I really don't care. Do U?" on her trip to the US-Mexico border, where she visited an immigrant's children shelter.
Really, bitch?
You know, I really want to be fair and give her the benefit of the doubt, but the shade is too damn dark for us to excuse her actions. I mean, what grown adult lacks the discernment needed to realize that wearing that was a bad idea? Out of all of the jackets in her wardrobe (and I know she has a lot, she's rich for Christ's sake), that was the one she wanted to wear on that particular occasion? With all of the tension rising up in the country in regards to immigration, especially how it relates to the separation of families and the abhorrent living conditions women and children are subjected to in detention centers, she thought it would be appropriate to wear a jacket that said IDGAF during her one interaction with Mexican immigrants?
She's bold.
Recently, she was spotted wearing a pith helmet during her trip to Nairobi, Kenya.
OK, one time is a coincidence, two times is on purpose.
For those of you who are unaware, pith helmets are a common sign of colonialism. They were frequently worn by European colonial officials, soldiers, and explorers during the 19th century.
Yes, colonialism. That thing that centered around the political, economic, and social domination of other countries by Western nations, leading to the death of thousands of natives, the adulteration of Eastern culture, and the stripping of precious natural resources that left both the land and people barren while Western nations profited.
I don't even want to hear the bullshit excuse about her not knowing the significance of the pith hat. If people on Twitter know the history of the helmet, she should too! It's about time that we stop excusing people's ignorance. We live in a digital age, an age where we have tons of information at our fingertips. As the first lady, it's literally her duty to conduct herself with elegance, grace, and to have the people's best interests at heart. I don't think it's classy or helpful to American society for her to claim that she doesn't care about kids being locked in cages in detention centers, or about the brutal history of colonialism that her hat signifies.
When confronted about her offensive attire, Melania responded with "focus on what I do, not what I wear."
You know what she should be doing instead of pretending that she's dense and doesn't understand the cultural context of her clothing? She should be speaking out against the disgusting words and actions of her husband and his entire cabinet. Melania claims that she "supports women," but that they should "show the evidence" when accusing men of sexual assault.
Oh, right, because I'm sure that all victims of sexual assault have convincing evidence at their disposal. They should've recorded their rapes, am I right? Hell, they should've kept the used condom.
Her ignorance and lack of moral judgment are absolutely abhorrent. Not only because she is the first lady, but just because she is a woman in general. In this country, there's been a history of privileged, White women upholding the systems that cripple other communities, while they get to sit back and remain unaffected. 53% of white women actually voted for Trump... The same guy that professed he grabs women by the pussy and who has been accused of sexual assault by multiple women.
Early feminists rarely cared about issues affecting Black women and other minorities, while some even wanted to cling on to patriarchal and oppressive institutions. The truth of the matter is, that while all women are affected by sexism and misogyny, white women have a leg up compared to the rest of us. In our society that is plagued with other social issues such as racism and xenophobia, white women remain protected under White supremacy.
That's how it's possible for a 14-year-old boy to be beaten and killed simply because a white woman accused him of flirting with her (which later turned out to be a lie). That's how it's possible for white women to make 20 cents more to the dollar than Latinas for the same work. That's how it's possible for dumbasses like Tomi Lahren to endorse Trump and his ignorant views, even though they harm women. They just harm white women a little less.
I didn't write this to criticize white women. After all, it's not their fault they're white. But it's time we start holding every bigot accountable, even those we consider our sister.
Melania, you know exactly what you're doing... And it's pretty damn disappointing.