Surviving Endo
What I wish my friends, family, and coworkers knew about my invisible illness.
Recently I mentioned to someone that I'd been in the hospital and she asked me what happened. I explained that I'd had a suspected cyst burst and subsequent infection and needed immediate antibiotics. I told her that this is just part of having endometriosis. She said "I'm so sorry you go through that. I don't know how you deal with that shit."
Here's how:
I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.
My only option is to live every single day of my life with debilitating fatigue, pain, and nausea. For years I've downplayed it and said everything was okay but the reality is every single day is a fight just to survive.
The pain I feel is considered by doctors to be the equivalent of labor pains. I'll likely need surgery every few years to check for endometriosis for the rest of my life. I may lose my uterus and ovaries before I'm 30. I've already had 2 surgeries for endo, 3 steroid injections, pelvic floor PT, over 15 meds (only 2 helped), and had ultrasounds, CTs, and a colonoscopy. I haven't slept through the night in years. Recently I was awake for 40 straight hours. I can't do anything spontaneous and last second plan changes can throw off my whole week due to chronic fatigue.
During these three years, I've graduated college. Started my career. Moved into my own place. I started weight lifting and yoga and running and got into good shape. I look healthy. I've achieved a lot. But that doesn't mean I'm not sick. There is no cure for endometriosis or interstitial cystitis. There's hardly any treatment. I'll never get better.It impacts everything from what I wear to work to all of my friendships and relationships. It's a lot to ask someone to take on as a partner or as a friend. Most of the time, it's too much.
I'm not looking for sympathy or hugs. I'm just trying to bring awareness to the fact that you can never judge someone's health by looking at them. Some illnesses and disabilities are invisible and those of us who struggle are strong and resilient because that is our only choice. 💛🎗
