My Voice Is Weird, But That's OK
I don't always talk, but when I do, I'll probably have to repeat myself because I mumble.
"Do you have an accent? It sounds like you're British or Australian!"
I think I was somewhere around first grade when I was first asked this question, but by no means was it the last time. It would pop up again here and there over time from a variety of people, but now that I work with people so often at my current job, I get it at least once a week.
I've developed a quick, standard response for these occasions that go along the lines of "Nope, my voice is just a little weird." That usually satisfies the asker as they give a knowing nod. The truth is, however, I honestly don't know why I talk the way I do. Some people and websites have suggested a possible hearing issue while growing up, but I don't think that's the case because I've never had any other issues with my hearing.
First off, I don't think I have an accent other than a standard American one since I live in America, but it's hard to know for sure what your voice sounds like to other people. If I had to describe it, I would say it's soft, quick, possibly wobbly/lilted, and sometimes indistinct because I tend to not enunciate my words (shoutout to R's for being a PAIN). It's not really a surprise that I'm often asked to repeat myself.
I've never really been a fan of my voice. Its inflection is OK I suppose, but I'm pretty self-conscious about the enunciation of my words. I've tried to place all my focus on it while speaking to someone, but I end up just feeling like an extraterrestrial who just landed on Earth and is trying to mimic human speech. You can imagine my disappointment as a theater kid who gets a recording of a performance she's in, only to barely be able to make out the speech from her own mouth due to it being quiet and mumbled.
I wish this paragraph could be like the other articles I've written about insecurities in which at this point I start to talk about how I overcome this tribulation and now I'm living my best life without a care in the world. Well, not quite. I'm still learning how to be neutral on the topic instead of negative, but that's OK.
Overcoming insecurities isn't easy; anyone in the world could tell you that. However, what's important to remember is that all that self-loathing in your head isn't healthy and you don't deserve to feel that way. In my experience, having a good support system makes all the difference in the world. My best friend was giving me a pep talk the other day and she mentioned that she loves listening to my voice because it's soothing to her, and I started crying because I don't think I've gotten a compliment like that before.
It takes a lot of hard work to do a 180 on how you feel about yourself, but it's so worth it to get there. You're not alone in this journey; my weird voice and I are right there to cheer you on every step of the way.
