The 5 Different Types Of Students You See During Finals Season
When "finals" season starts to roll around, the type of student you are shows a little more than usual.
Ahhh, the sweet, sweet season of finals. My favorite time of the year. The bane of every college student's existence
The Starbucks line is out the door, the libraries are dangerously overcrowded, and the shortages of sleep run rampant.
Gotta love it.
One thing I've learned throughout college is how different each person is as a student, and how it affects their preparation for these big exams. Generally, you have about 5 different types of college students. We can all relate in some way. To me these 5 seem to encapsulate the tendencies of most:
1. The caffeine addict.
We all know that one person with a crazy, insane caffeine addiction. Like, it's actually really bad. Concerning, even. Although seemingly impossible, finals tend to make it worse. I mean the long hours, study groups, and lack of sleep? Coffee is the only thing that holds them together. They cannot function normally without it. It is their liquid gold. It is their saving grace. It is their light of hope in this dark tunnel we call "education." Yeah, when it comes to studying they can definitely get stuff done. Finals is honestly not too bad. But without their coffee, it just isn't happening.
Seriously. Life, in general, isn't happening.
Picking these people out among the rest is not a hard task, given their abnormal ability to secure their 10th cup of coffee by noon. Usually followed by nasty withdrawal symptoms such as excessive shaking, growling at strangers, and regretful comments at those they love. Basically, the caffeine addict is like any other normal college student during finals, but with enough coffee in their system to kill an adult Rhino. So, if someone you care about struggles with caffeine addiction, just love them through it. They need your emotional support through the ups and downs of white chocolate mocha withdrawal. Finals definitely don't help the steps to recovery. If this is you, stay strong. We're here for you.
(Shoutout to BFFs Emily and Scarlett.)
2. The procrastinator.
Ohhhh, the good-ole procrastinator. I happen to live in this category pretty much year-around. What a fun time it is during finals season when you realize you are literally the worst planner in the world and have accomplished absolutely nothing in preparation for the week of torture ahead. Is it the adrenaline of waiting last minute to read 18 chapters that keeps us on our toes? I don't know. Is it the simple response of "and that's just showbiz, baby" after receiving a solid F on an exam after only studying 1 day prior that keeps us from crying ourselves to sleep? I guess so!
This type of student is more than likely preparing for finals using everyone else's Quizlet's, frantically searching test banks for any signs of hope, sleeping in until noon regardless of the academic burden they're carrying, and scrambling to find all the notes they carelessly shoved in their backpack weeks before. Along with their pride. Oh, not to mention they probably also just realized, while waiting last minute to get their life together, that they didn't even actually purchase the textbook for the class in the first place. And they've been in there the whole semester. With no textbook. (might've just happened to me, IDK.) So, the procrastinator is under some major stress right now, give them a break. It's hard putting off your responsibilities until the last minute.
I mean, six classes of catch-up to do? Sheesh, the pressure is starting to get to me. I might actually have to consider changing my ways.
3. The nut job.
This special type of person is among the ones you have to be very gentle with during the course of finals season. Running on basically zero sleep, cracked out on Adderall, and having only had a stick of beef jerky in the last 24 hours for nutritional value... proceed with caution. They need a nice, loving, tender pat on the back frequently throughout the day. Very on edge, will break easily, and not all the way there. From hours upon hours of studying, their mental state might just be a tad unstable. Nothing matters more to them during finals season than hitting the books. We admire their efforts, though! They are very dedicated and driven by their school work and take finals very seriously. Kudos to them.
But, just keep an eye on the poor things. They'll run themselves into the ground if not properly supervised. And if they disappear for days at a time only popping up at various coffee shops, maybe it's time to be concerned. Or if they're hiding out in their rooms, only using LinkedIn for means of communication, I would make it a point to check on them. Finals week can kinda turn them into actual nutjobs. They are most identifiable in public places, usually by the look of "three hours of sleep per night"; and most frequently found in the library hiding under desks in the feeble position. Possibly rocking back and forth mumbling the quadratic formula. If you see one, approach them slowly and offer snacks and a juice box. Maybe even a blanket. They will thank you later once finals are over and they return to reality.
4. The MRS.
Girls, I hate to do it to you. I'm all about some girl power. But... this one is real. We can't deny it. The MRS! A very unique type of college student. Finals week... doesn't slightly phase them. Not impressed. Not stressed. No sweat on the brow. Sleeping peacefully at least eight-plus hours at night with a smile on their face knowing one day their man will provide. More than likely, there is minimal studying and minimal stress throughout this awful week. Can probably be found shopping or eating acaí bowls. Possibly drinking a low fat caramel macchiato with almond milk and extra whip. Maybe even skim milk instead, if they're feeling frisky. But bottom line, school doesn't really matter that much. The MRS could care less about grades and studying and blah blah blah.
Boring.
Whatever.
They're just doing enough to get by (but seriously, same), and graduating is all that matters. A couple of C's won't hurt! C stands for carats, duh. As in, 20 on my ring please. Pronto! This is all simply because they came to college solely to get their MRS degree. And there is no shame in the game, honey. The blue-collar life isn't for everyone. Seriously. Majoring in wifey is a priority, too. The hubby will surely provide. Hopefully bringing home big bucks so they can play with the kiddos, raid local lulu lemon stores, and attend daily spin classes. You know, just cute wifey stuff. Maybe even bring home a new puppy here and there, who knows. Guys wouldn't understand.
But honestly, kicking back with a glass of wine and The Real Housewives all afternoon might just be the most ideal occupation I've ever heard of. Can't say that sounds like the worst life ever. In fact, i think I might change my major now. It's sounding even better the second time.
5. The unicorn.
I like to call this kind of student "the unicorn" because they rarely cease to exist. Making up about 5% of the college population, this person actually does everything... right *gasp*. They look over their notes after every class, they don't wait days prior to study before the test, and they hang out with their professor at office hours. They also read the assigned chapters from lecture and never skip homework. Yep, so basically we hate them. Because we want to be them. And since finals don't phase these unicorns, they remain stress-free during the week of insanity. They're probably the only actual sane humans on campus. To them, finals is like any other test to prepare for. Because, wait, imagine this: they are.... ~caught-up~. I know right? Insane. Never heard of it.
They're the type of students who own every colored highlighter possible, and rub it in your face with their beautiful study guides and fancy notebooks. Color-coated precisely and perfectly. It's sickening and unfair. They have this weird thing called "self-discipline" and "responsibility," whatever that is. So we envy them. Because they are organized. They are diligent. They have their life together. They are everything we strive to be. Like I said, they rarely exist. BUT, if you do want to hunt them down, you will most likely find them drinking coffee with "Don" in his office. Don is the professor. They're on a first-name basis. How do you feel? Like a failure? same. Like maybe you could've done this whole college thing a little bit better? same. A girl can always dream.
