'Boy Moms' Need To Get Over Themselves
I'm sorry, I didn't realize having a son makes you special.
Becoming a mother is an extremely huge event in a woman's life, and her child will become a major part of her life the moment she finds out she's pregnant.
It's not surprising if a new mother's life revolves around her child. I mean, it's her kid.
What is surprising is a new mother centering her "mom identity" around her child's gender.
"Boy moms" have a large presence with the new tech age, and, honestly, it's annoying.
You're not special because you have a son.
"Boy moms" seem to think they're in a special class of motherhood because they only have sons.
I didn't realize raising little boys made you a different mother than someone with little girls.
According to boy mom memes, it's a totally different ball game: always in sweats and a messy bun; constantly chasing after a child with seemingly limitless energy; coffee on an IV drip; always cleaning up cuts and scrapes and the mess that was made to get them.
Wait...
That just sounds like having a toddler in general, doesn't it?
Regardless of gender, toddlers are going to act the same.
Toddlers are rambunctious, rowdy, and always ready to rumble.
Being a boy doesn't make them more susceptible to be any of those things. Kids are going to act like kids
They'll do whatever they want and like whatever they want because they don't care.
Many times though, a mom's expectations for her child will get in the way, and that's how some of the stereotypes for boys form, which only fuels the "boy mom" identity.
As children grow older, they might take on certain behaviors or interests, usually stereotyped to their gender.
This means boys continue to grow up talking about farts and video games, while girls might not.
We socialize kids to be this way.
Girls are plenty able to talk about gross stuff, like "boy" things, and be totally similar in interests and behaviors, but they're taught to be "little ladies" and not have that behavior.
This means — with boys being the only ones with "masculine" interests now — we're able to create the stereotype for boys that "boy moms" base their son's identity around when their son grows older.
"Boy moms" center their identity of raising sons around the stereotypes we create for boys — the ones that are messy, and loud, and wild. They feel special for raising boys because that's the gender we allow to be a handful.
You're not special for having boys and you're not special for teaching them to be a certain way for the sake of your identity as a mother.
Girls are allowed to be rowdy and crazy, while boys are allowed to be soft and sensitive.
Stop raising kids to be the identity you want to have.
5 Replies I Hear When I Tell People I'm A Feminist
I'm loud and proud when it comes to being a feminist, which means I've gotten some interesting comments.
Over the past few years I have finally become comfortable admitting to those around me that I am a full-blown feminist. I'm even vice president of the University of Dayton's feminist organization. And although I'm proud to call myself a feminist, the reactions I receive from others are not always positive.
One of the main reasons people snark at me when I say I'm a feminist is because there are negative connotations around the word. And my job as a feminist is to help change that.
While I try to change people's views on modern day feminism, I also find some joy in the weird comments I hear from people when I tell them I'm a feminist. If you're a feminist, you've probably heard some of these things too.
1. So, you hate men?
No, actually, I don't hate men. In fact, I really like men. And I want men to join the feminist movement as well. The word "feminist" is not synonymous with "man-hater." Feminism is all about the equality of the sexes, meaning that while I fight for women's rights I'm also fighting to breakdown stereotypes that harm men.
2. I believe in equality but I'm not a feminist
Are you sure about that? Because by definition feminism is "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes." If you believe in all that, then I'm sorry to break it to you: you're a feminist.
3. I just don't like today's version of feminism
Modern day feminism focuses on all sorts of issues related to sex, including equal pay, rape culture, toxic masculinity, transgender rights, and the way women are portrayed in the media. Although you may not agree with all arguments that today's feminism is typically associated with, such as being pro-choice, that doesn't mean you can't be a feminist. Every feminist is different. No check-list exists for what you need to believe in order to consider yourself a feminist, so you maybe you are one after all.
4. Are you some weird, liberal hippie?
Maybe? I guess in your opinion I might be. But, since I know what "weird, liberal hippie" means to you, the answer is this: I shave my legs, I wear makeup, and most days I choose to put on a bra. Those are my personal decisions. But those things don't necessarily need to be associated with feminism. Some men choose not to shave their face, does that mean they're making a statement? On the contrary, some feminists choose not to shave because it shouldn't be weird for women to keep their natural body hair. Everyone lives out feminism in a different way because, again, all feminists are different. That doesn't make anyone a "weird, liberal hippie."
5. I can't be a feminist because I'm not a white female
Sad to say, feminism has struggled with intersectionality for years. But modern day feminists are trying to show the world that ANYONE, no matter who you are or where you're from or what you look like, can be a feminist. Feminism is for everyone.