It Took Me Years To Accept My Cultural Identity, But Now That I Have, It Feels Great
Yes, there are times when I think it would be easier being someone other than I am, but I know that everyone thinks that, too.
Recently, I've found myself thinking a lot about my culture and how it defines me. Now, this is not something I normally think about because I usually don't think about what sets people apart from each other. I think more about what makes humans similar rather than different, why we connect on deeper levels, how we all have the same feelings and emotions (and even facial expressions).
Still, I've thought a lot about what it means for me to be an Indian girl. Today, I'm so comfortable when I think of myself being of South Asian descent, but that wasn't always the case. Up until some point in high school, I had a nonsensical notion that being Indian was "not cool."
When I look back at my elementary and middle school days, most of what I remember is just being made fun of for the food I ate, the way I looked, and how it made me feel. That's why I thought that if I was different, life would be a lot easier for me.
But of course, I was a young girl back then unknowing of the fact that things change.
And so my self-consciousness knew very little bounds.
Today, though, I realize that a large part of who I am, the way I think, the interests I have, and the way I perceive circumstances have so much to do with the way I was brought up within Indian culture - and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I would never trade those experiences for who I am today.
I won't lie and say that my acceptance has nothing to do with the love of my culture by others and the rise to prominence of South Asian entertainers, but that's definitely not the sole reason. Anyone who knows me now can attest to the fact that I love watching Bollywood movies, listening to Hindi-language music, wearing Indian clothes, and eating Indian food. I love the languages I can speak and understand, the literature that's written in them, and the depth that the literature conveys. I love the excitement of our holidays, the uniqueness they have to offer, and the meaning behind them.
Finally, for once, I do feel valued. Not because some other people like my culture, but because I do. This is one of the things that once it comes, once you get the realization, it never goes.
And knowing that, I've been given freedom I never knew I was missing.
