Dear Guys, Thank You For Teaching Me That Your Masculinity Is More Fragile Than I'll Ever Be
Really, this is getting ridiculous.
For whatever reason, society has forced us all to believe that men must avoid certain things or their "manhood" will be compromised. That if they don't love sports or cars then they aren't really men at all. That if they use umbrellas or sunscreen they're "sissies."
As a result, boys are put in blue, given toy cars to play with, told to toughen up when they're hurt, whether physically or emotionally. They're told they can't show emotion or they'll be seen as weak. They can't hug their other guy friends or they're called gay (which, what's wrong with being gay anyway? But that's a whole other issue).
These cases are not the fault of guys themselves, but they also don't fight these stereotypes: they feed them. Whenever it rains, I see about three guys out of the thirty that I see actually using an umbrella or even a raincoat. Since when was protection from the weather seen as a sign of weakness?
People always joke that when guys rev the engine of their fancy sports car or big truck that they're just compensating for something. Especially when they choose to race their buddies in their cars. They're clearly trying to show how manly they are, but it does the opposite as far as I'm concerned.
The saddest thing is that companies reinforce the idea of fragile masculinity with products like Duke Cannon with their "big ass brick of soap" in scents like "smells like victory" and with an introduction that made me cringe. There are countless brands that have come about to showcase the manliness of men and a number of existing brands that have made "guy-specific" products. It's as if guys are afraid of smelling like anything other than bacon and beer (which is gross, btw).
I'm not trying to crush men, and I'm certainly not aiming to further harm the masculinity of men. I just will never understand how upset some men get over being seen as even slightly feminine. We all have our feminine and masculine traits and features. Things aren't always black and white, right or left. There's SO much room in between that more of us fall into than being completely one thing or the other.
It's toxic masculinity and in turn, fragile masculinity that makes all the other men look bad too. I know a good handful of guys who couldn't care less if they're seen holding an umbrella or if they let their girlfriend do their makeup because she's bored.
I know it's so much easier said than done, but how about we stop caring so much about what other people think and just be content with who we actually are? Give yourself some love, I promise you won't be seen as weak.
