"You're a stupid head." -Me, to my boyfriend, every day, 2k18
Look, no relationship is perfect. Everyone disagrees at some point in time. It's just natural. So it's important to know how to deal with disagreements when they do arise. No one wants to admit when they're wrong, but if you follow my advice, you definitely won't be breaking up over a silly argument turned sour.
1. Talk it out.Giphy
It might become an extremely tedious conversation, but I promise you yelling won't help ANYTHING. Try to remain calm and rational.
2. See it from their side.Giphy
Try to walk in their shoes for a little bit. Figure out why they might be upset by your actions or words.
3. Keep it classy.Giphy
Look, I know I need to work on this one myself. But you have to make sure that, even in the heat of the moment, you keep yourself from saying things you can't take back.
4. Don't conceal anything.Giphy
If something is bothering you, take the time to actually talk it out. If you let it sit inside you and fester, it just hurts your relationship. It's important to air your grievances so you can work it out!
5. Understand you're both flawed.
Nobody's perfect. You're two rational human beings, but you both have your issues. You're going to butt heads every once in a while... Know that you piss your S.O. as much as they piss off you.
6. Use "I Feel" statements.Giphy
It's important not to play the blame game, because that leads to hurt feelings and resentment. So using statements like "When you do this, I feel..." helps keep the conversation from going to a hostile place and keeps both parties open to communicate effectively.
7. Don't fear the mediator.
Sometimes getting a third party involved can do a lot of good. An unbiased eye and ear might be the key to solving the problem at hand. Plus, they can help keep the argument from going too far.
8. Accept blame.Giphy
When you're wrong, you're wrong. Admit it to yourself, and your partner. If you can do that, it'll make the whole fight go a lot smoother.
9. Learn to take a breather.Giphy
Don't be afraid to hit the pause button on a fight. Sometimes a little cool down period is just what you need to come up with a healthy solution.
10. Stop and think about itGiphy
Is this really worth the hassle? Sometimes we get those days where the emotions run wild, and you start a fight over something silly. Sometimes it's best to just evaluate why you're having this fight, and decide how far this fight needs to go. If you're not trying to break up over it, don't let it get that far. Know when it's time to be done.
They are your partner in life, and it's supposed to be you two versus the world, not you versus them.
Now I'm not saying every fight is a silly one, some fights are essential and cannot be avoided, but I do advise that we all think about what swords we are willing to die on.