I know the feeling, trust me.
I grew up thinking that feelings were something to hide. If you show any hint of feelings, you are weak. It's as simple as that. As I grew up, that social assumption stuck with me. I barely cried because I bottled up all my sadness, anger, hurt inside of me. Then once in a while, I would have mental breakdowns. I'd scream into my pillow or punch the wall next to me. As I grew older, I realized that these random breakdowns I was going through were definitely not healthy. I was trying to control my emotions so much that I ultimately lost control of them.
Once college started, my breakdowns only became more frequent. I was so accustomed to swallowing up my feelings instead of confronting them, I wound up having zero control over them. It is important to learn how to let your feelings pass through you rather than suffocating them. I learned the hard way that suffocating your feelings is equivalent to suffocating yourself.
Feelings are something natural, they are something human. I'm not saying to be a drama queen and take everything seriously, what I'm saying is to confront your emotions the second you feel them. Rather than holding back those tears, either let them go or deal with the issue causing those tears.
I'm not ashamed to say that in my recent years, I've been crying more than I usually do. But along with that, I've been smiling a lot more. I've come to realize, the more positive energy you give out to the world, the more you receive. When you carry that dark bottle of emotions within you, your energy becomes more negative. You smile less because you are anxious. You talk less because you are overthinking. You don't react because you are too consumed in reacting within yourself. You try so hard to hold those tears back, only to have them pouring out 10 times worse a few weeks later.
I'm living evidence that those breakdowns you randomly have are more unhealthy than healthy. They take so much energy out of you. Yes, you might feel better after it happens, but you also might feel a lot worse. As humans, we need to learn how to control our emotions. When I say control, I don't mean to hold those tears back in or let the anger keep stirring inside of you. I mean that you should let the emotions pass through you. Cry when you need to and you'll naturally learn when to stop the tears. It's much better than randomly going through emotional breakdowns that suck the life you of you. Trust me.
So, to whoever is reading this, know that you don't always have to be "strong" and cover up all those emotions inside of you. Whether alone or with someone you trust, you need to let them pass through you. Bottling them up will only do you more harm than good.