Here are some things that I am sure all my fellow non-morning people, will agree we just don't get about morning people.
1. How morning people can be so chipper at 9 AM
Your eyes roll into the back of your head every time someone says "Good morning!" in the peppiest voice you have ever heard. No. False. There is no such thing as a "Good" morning in our book, only a good afternoon when we wake up after noon.
2. How morning people don't need to drink coffee to wake up or feel energized
It's hard for us non-morning people to rationalize the fact that you are wide awake without downing 6 cups of coffee. If you want us to be even semi-pleasant in the morning, make sure there is coffee in our hands when we wake up.
3. How morning people wake up early on their days off
If you don't have to go to work, there is absolutely no reason to start your day earlier than you have to. Why "rise & grind" when you can stay in bed all day?
4. How morning people can hold full on conversations before noon
Chances are if you try to talk to us non-morning people before noon, we will either nod while staring into space or have a complete mental break down. We're still trying to wake up, so there is no way we are actually listening to your stories from the weekend. If you want us to be coherent for this story, wait until after lunch to tell us.
5. How morning people wake up early solely to work out
It baffles us non-morning people that people 1. wake up early and 2. do it on purpose to workout. Sorry, my body has a hard enough time getting out of bed in the morning. There is no way we will cut into our precious sleep time for workouts.
6. How morning people think it's funny to wake a non-morning person up early
If you have a death wish, wake a non-morning person up earlier than they need to. I guarantee if they don't kill you with a swift punch to the throat, they will get you with a death glare. It's not funny. R.I.P. to all the souls who have attempted to wake up a non-morning person before they naturally wake up.
7. How morning people only need one alarm to wake them up
HOW!? Us non-morning people have AT LEAST five different alarms each of which are ten minutes apart from each other. We have a bad relationship with the snooze button, as we will either hit it too many times to get a few extra minutes of shut-eye and end up late or the loud blare that disrupts our slumber ruins our mood. Teach us how you wake up with only one alarm morning people!!
8. How morning people say breakfast is the best meal of the day
Nope. Nope. Nope. Breakfast foods are limited but lunch and dinner, there are so many options! Steak, chicken, fish, Chinese, Mexican, Italian, sandwiches, salads, burgers, pizza, etc are all foods that are acceptable to eat during lunch or dinner.
If you try to eat one of these at breakfast (not including brunch) then people will look at you like you've grown another head. There are perks to waking up late, you can skip breakfast and save money because you ate less food during the day. Also, us non-morning people are curious about how you are hungry at 6 AM? Pretty sure you dinner from the night before hasn't even settled quite yet.
So no, breakfast is not the "best" meal of the day.
9. How morning people like sunrises more than sunsets
Sunrises are the same as sunsets basically. Why wake up early to see the sun when you can see it set on your way home from work after you have already been awake for hours? The logic is flawed here guys.
10. How morning people go to bed early when the nights just getting started
Us non-morning people are usually nocturnal beings. This means we like to go out and enjoy the night time. Morning people on the other hand usually do not like to enjoy the night past 9-10pm. Such a waste since bars and concerts are usually just getting started around this time.
This is where we want to be, us non-morning people live for the night because we are finally awake and finally okay with the fact that we are not sleeping. It seems though that right when we get to this point, our morning friends call it a night. You suck. Stop waking up so early so you can enjoy the night with us! You'd be more willing to stay out later if you sleep in later, just saying guys!
