Since I was a kid I have heard this term being told to me every time I did something that maybe wasn't extremely feminine. Growing up I ripped my tights on purpose every time I was forced into them, preferred to have my hair up and NOT brushed, never crossed my legs, and was just as rough as the boys were on the playground. This did not fly with society and still does not. I just turned 21 and I am still being told by my family, friends, and random people to behave more like a "lady." Nothing boils my skin more than hearing the seemingly innocent words "ladylike" when boys get a free pass because hey, boys will be boys right?
Well, I am here to say I am sick to death of hearing the words "Try to be more lady-like." "That's not how a little lady behaves". Stop saying that shit. What does that even mean? I shouldn't be cussing, spreading my legs out when I sit, being loud and what not? Too damn bad. Ladylike is the "nice" way of saying "hey, you're not conforming to your gender norm and that makes us uncomfortable." Now as an "adult" I am still being told how to be a woman by people with no authority over how others should behave.
If I am too passionate, I'm crazy. Too determined, a bitch. Too flirty, a slut. We've been raised in a world where there's no winning when you're a girl, because we don't even own our own gender at this point. Growing up with this much uncertainty on how a young woman should behave really got to me, then I realized, I. Don't. Care.
From the girl who is always a little too loud, and a little too blunt, let me tell you: being anything less is not allowing yourself to fully be you. If being lady-like implies being a cooperative, quiet, and submissive voice then I will have no damn part in it. I am loud, obnoxious, aggressive, and I have absolutely no problem telling others what I want. None of us should.
