High waisted shorts are the bane of every guy's existence. If you are a girl who wants to hide the beauty you have been given, high waisted shorts are the way to go.Girls have once again fallen in love with a fashion trend that faded away for a reason. Guys cannot wrap their minds around why attractive women everywhere are hiding 

The weekend of Unofficial was our first real glimpse at the meaning of shorts weather. For once, going outside or walking to the bar was not a burden and the threat of slipping on ice was not imminent. We finally had a taste of spring, which means jackets and pants are tucked away and the warmer weather fashion comes out, some eagerly awaited and some severely dreaded.

New fashions come and go like hits on the radio. Some are by one hit wonders who disappear forever, for good reason. Others are here to stay. Last year we saw the feared revival of one of the worst fads known to man: the high waisted short. Why the mom jean craze was resurrected is a question every guy needs an answer to. We demand to know why a woman insists on hiding her beautiful physique with such vile clothing. Yet, it seems every girl must possess her own unique pair to display to the world. 

Ladies, you go crazy for mom jeans, spending weeks hunting through various thrift shops for the perfect pair you can design into your own vulgar creation. You believe these are better than anything in the world, but every guy is filled with horror. No matter what guy you approach, he will say please stop wearing these abominable excuses for clothing. Leave wearing pants up to your belly button to the pros, Steve Urkel and moms from the 80s.

I am familiar with the saying, “suns out, guns out,” but taking, “skies out, thighs out” to a whole new level by hiding the midriff is ridiculous. Maybe you are tired of us gawking at you when warm weather hits, but it’s something we absolutely have to do. Denying us the opportunity of publicly letting you know how astonishing you look is worse than being stuck next to that smelly kid in Noyes. 

Ladies, if there has ever been a time to let a trend die out, please let it be now. We beg you, please. Guys everywhere are suffering from the fear of high-waisted shorts. We all know how much you love staining and bedazzling them and it can be a touchy subject, but no man has ever said, “Wow, look at how amazing she looks in those high-waisted shorts.” No man, ever. If by some miracle, and I mean UIUC-canceling-classes miracle, you manage to pull these puppies off, be prepared for every man to drop to one knee and profess his love for you. Until that happens, we ask that you put those shorts in your “do not wear” pile.

There is a time and a place for everything, but high waisted shorts belong in history as a fad that came and went. It is a love hate relationship; women love them and men hate them. If you promise to rid the world of this infection, we vow to stop the next gaudy trend we think of before it even starts. Even better, we will bring Justin Bieber back to Canada and ensure he is never on our radio again. 

You might think you are doing us a favor but, eventually, you will appreciate it just as much as we do. However, you should also know that if it is something you all adore and feel beautiful and confident wearing, then we can learn to live with it.