At the Republican National Convention and the Democratic National Convention there are numerous "important" people making speeches and sounding like complete idiots. As a presidential candidate myself (I announced my candidacy last week in this article), I feel as though it is time for my supporters to hear from me. I want you to know exactly who you are voting for, in my own words. I don't have the platform that the RNC or DNC does. If I did though, this would be my speech:
Thank you. Thank you all for your undying support. "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal"(M. King 1963). I know that becoming president is a long shot, but "Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable" (C.Chanel). "Vote for me, and all of your wildest dreams will come true" (Pedro). Even if I lose this race, which I likely will, "failure is another steppingstone to greatness" (O. Winfrey). In the big picture of things, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take" (W. Gretzky/M.Scott). So, I refuse to give up.
I don't want you all to think that I expect this to be handed to me. "From a young age, my parents impressed on me the values that you work hard for what you want in life; that your word is your bond and you do what you say and keep your promise; that you treat people with respect. They taught and showed me values and morals in their daily life. That is a lesson that I will continue to pass along, and we need to pass those lessons on to the many generations to follow. Because we want our children in this nation to know that the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them" (M. Obama/M. Trump). I "strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value" (A. Einstein). My path to presidency has not been a common one. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference" (R. Frost). So, vote for me. Thanks.
...and then I would have a mic drop and sashay away in a sassy manner.
Write Gretchen Vetsch in for president.