We all remember our emo phase. It was a time of amazing, head-banging music and intense feelings. There were the scene haircuts that everyone was obsessed with and the insane amount of eyeliner that was as dark as your mood. No other phase in your life was as memorable as your emo phase. We all felt misunderstood and perhaps even sad most of the time. But there was nothing like the quality punk rock music to get you through these times. Whether you screamed to the top of your lungs with these songs or you just listened to them and wallowed in your sadness, there was a song for everyone going through this infamous phase. They just don't make songs like these anymore.
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Most people have heard of the INFJ stereotypes, and how they’re so “rare“ and “misunderstood”. Well I’m here to tell you 12 truths about the INFJ That they might not be too keen to share with you. Are INFJ’s really the rare bird they’re cracked up to be? Take a look at these 12 truths and see how many you identify with.
1. Their moral compass is the strongest bone in their bodies
INFJ's do not change their mind often. Call it thick headed, they call it calculated. They spend countless debates and years of tiring research developing these morals. Furthermore, they aren't willing to commit to a moral until they know when it was first created and every human who has ever taken this view and what it was applied to. (I exaggerate, but hardly). They are open to learning new things but just expect that change in an INFJ could take years.
2. They like getting a mild cold
Okay, I said it. They like experiencing what it means to be a good 'ol normal human with the occasional issue. They like waking up on a winter morning and having a sniffle and putting on three layers of clothes and eating nothing but soup all day. If it doesn't last twenty-four hours its disappointing, but if it lasts up to forty-eight it's now ruining their lives and they vow to themselves to never forget how awful being sick is.
3. They can only make one new friend at a time
Making friends as an INFJ is an exhausting process. First, they must sort through every person in the room and absorb as much information about them as possible. Being an INFJ in a new group of people is like one sided speed dating. Okay, so in this room say they meet one potential friend. The conversation is going well, they can imagine hanging out. But, then there's the fear of if they could be an INFJ approved, "Real Friend". This will take approximately six months of daily interactions where they give this person all their extra emotional energy so they can deeply process and categorize each word that is said. If the person has kept their attention and you have kept theirs in this time, it's a match made in heaven! As you can imagine, there's no time to get to know anyone else in this period.
4. They can only be leaders if they're experts on the topic
No, they're not always the fierce out-spoken leaders. Actually, 9/10 times they won't say a peep. They live life on the rule of, "please don't embarrass yourself more than you already do on accident". This means that if there is any change that someone in the room knows more on the topic than them, leadership is a no-no. Watch them turn into a meek little lamb in seconds. On the other-hand, let one person utter a phrase out of ignorance and watch the infamous side of the INFJ sprout its wings. Misinformation will not happen on their watch, no Sir. They will take lead and sail this ship to safety with their well researched knowledge!
5. You know what too nice means: Fake
We know! They're a little too interested in your life. A little too quick to complement your shirt. They've told you they hope you have a wonderful day, every day since you met. Let's just clear things up once and for all- it's not fake. They're people lovers. It's actually embarassing, but they can admit, they’ve tried to force themselves not to like certain people, and it doesn’t work. They’re a classic example of seeing the best in everyone. The more time you spend with someone, the more they just grow on ‘em.
6. Their creativity comes out in strange bouts
I know, this one is weird to all of you permanently creative types. But, they can go months or even years with no creative content flowing. Sometimes they get the idea for an art piece and it comes out looking like it came straight off Pinterest! Well other times it’s not quite clear what their stick figure was supposed to be of. This applies to writing, debate, problem-solving, games, and pretty much anything that requires a little bit of that imagination sparkle. Sometimes it’s just gone.
7. They like heavily emotional stories
No one can get down for a movie about the tragic story of a teenager fighting depression and dealing with a broken family like an INFJ. They live for it. Oh, those make you feel sick? Them too. However, it’s like the unspoken duty of the INFJ to seek out this painful content to further their understanding of people and what makes them tick. How will they remembered to help if it didn’t make them cry or have nightmares? -The INFJ motto my friend.
8. They experience a different kind of tired
Yeah, yeah. We know what you mean by you worked hard and have been up since 5 AM, but trust me it’s different. When an INFJ openly admits that they’re tired, they don’t mean sleepy. They mean drained. They mean whatever they did today burned up all of their social skills as an introvert, all of their emotional energy, and they just can’t do it any longer. It’s best to let an INFJ sleep at this point. If you push them one minute past this they might have a meltdown about their deep-seated efforts to save the world and how they haven’t come to fruition yet. And trust us, you don’t want that.
9. Structure and routine is the name of the game
They hate change. I know, funny joke because their “the advocate“ personality type. Maybe this does make them hypocrites, who knows. They need to prepare. You can’t last minute change their plans. They already researched it and mentally rehearsed it 10 times. There is no change! They don’t like last-minute plans. They don’t like moving. They don’t like unexpected people over. They don’t like being woken up at the wrong time. They don’t like the unexpected, okah? Yes, they will be the parent to require at least a two day heads up for a play date or they’ll have a panic attack.
10. They are sensitive little creatures
They cry, a lot. But, fear not, they aren’t public cryers. They cry in the comfort of their room, or in extreme situations they’ll cry in front of a family member or INFJ approved “Real Friend“. They cry when they’re misunderstood because honestly that’s they’re biggest fear. They cry when they hurt someone’s feelings because that so goes against everything that an INFJ stands for. Yes, they want change but never through being hurtful. They cry when people hurt their feelings, because they want the respect they give others. And sometimes they cry because their brain won’t turn off and they can’t stop thinking about everything awful they’ve ever been exposed to. That one hurts.
11. They love to love
I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced being loved by and I NFJ, but it’s intense. And it’s definitely not for everyone. INFJ’s obsess over everything you do. You have a passion? Don’t worry, they will research the history of it and watch documentaries on it every night for a week. You had a bad day? They’ll use talk therapy and try to convince you to stay up late talking about your childhood and how that affected your day at work today. If an INFJ loves you, you’ve been admitted for a lifetime pass to their inner circle. Don’t worry, they never let anyone leave! INFJ’s don’t let go of those they love easily, actually, I suppose that’s a downside of the personality type because sometimes it’s hard to let go of toxic relationships with the constant INFJ need to “fix“ things.
12. Yup, they’re the mom of the friend group
“Safety first! Did you eat lunch yet? Don’t talk about yourself like that. I’m so proud of you! That was out of line. Go change your clothes. Reword that, please.” These are all words you will hear come out of your INFJ friend’s mouth. They can’t help it! They’re impulsively nurturing. If they don’t nurture you they’ll have to spend their day at the animal shelter or in a children’s hospital. Although it might be annoying, and your INFJ friend rarely cuts loose and stops worrying, just take it as a complement. The fact that they are spending their time thinking about ways to keep you safe and healthy amid trying to save the world must mean you’re worth it!
Hopefully these cleared some of these stereotypes up and made the INFJ personality type out for what it actually is: just another person. Do you know someone who sounds like this? Share with them! You might have an odd duck in your pond.
Photo by Rémi Jacquaint on Unsplash
1. "Oh, crap..."
Whether you hit snooze a few too many times, slept straight through your alarm, or just completely forgot to set it last night, you definitely woke up later than you should have, and you can feel the panic begin to set in.
2. "Is it worth it?"
Going to class late always involves a cost-benefit analysis. Within a matter of seconds, your sleepy mind weighs the pros and cons of rushing to class late versus cutting your losses and going back to sleep. How late are you going to be? If you're missing more than half of the class, why bother? But fashionably late is excusable, right?
3. "Why is this room so cold?"
It definitely felt comfortable when you went to bed last night. But now, you could swear it's like the arctic tundra in here. It was hard enough to leave your warm, cozy bed without the threat of hypothermia when your feet hit the floor.
4. "Does this professor grade attendance?"
You realize that this is the third time this week that you've been late to your 9 AM. Will you get points taken off if you miss class today? Or is your professor the type that will count you as absent if you're not there the minute that class starts? The temptation to skip is getting stronger, but you will do anything to save your grade.
5. "Can I wear my pajamas to class?"
Picking out clothes, getting dressed...it all takes so much time, and every second counts when you're already running late.
6. "Do I have time to brush my teeth?"
The situation is dire, and you need to prioritize. Can you spare the time for a quick brush? Will you be talking to other humans in this class? If you're really in a rush, then gum will have to work until after class.
6. "Shoot, I didn't finish my homework..."
...you realize with a pang of dread. Is there time to finish? If it's reading, you promise yourself you'll skim it later. If it just needs to be printed, you hurriedly turn on the printer and pray it doesn't jam or run out of ink. If it's half-done (or less), you hope to goodness that the fact that you're there at all will make up for it.
7. "What's the weather supposed to be today?"
The climate here is so unpredictable! Do you need your winter coat? Your rain boots? Your umbrella? Or will it be sunny and warm enough to make you sweaty by lunchtime? Hopefully you have time to wait for your weather app's forecast to load; otherwise, you decide to wing it and hope for the best.
8. "Will the bus be on time?"
Odds are it won't be. Don't wait for it. Just don't.
9. "How can I enter the room in the least obtrusive way possible?"
You gently ease the door closed behind you so it doesn't make an earth-shattering slamming sound that alerts everyone to your tardiness. You decide to leave your coat on to avoid making a scene of unzipping it and taking it off.
10. "WHY didn't anyone leave a seat on the end in case someone came late?!"
Because why would any of these selfish jerks make the logical, polite choice to sit in the middle and leave space on the aisle for latecomers? Seriously, these people who show up on time should really learn some manners!
11. "Does this professor hate me now?"
They must think you don't care about this class. They must wonder why you don't prioritize their lectures enough to manage your time better in the mornings. Isn't learning more valuable than sleep? Repentant for your repeated failures, you silently berate yourself for disappointing them again, not realizing that they probably completely understand and don't give your occasional tardiness a second thought.
12. "I'll be early next class..."
You silently vow to be early to every lecture for the rest of the semester so you can sit in the front and demonstrate your dedication to your professor and prove you're not the lazy idiot you think they think you are (even if you did hit snooze ten times this morning).
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Like most jobs, it has its perks and its downfalls, but working in a call center is truly something you can't understand until you've done it. Here are some things call center workers know better than anyone else.
1. The first call is the hardest
I was so nervous for the first call I ever made and everyone told me not to worry--it would probably go to voicemail, but of course, they answered and I was an awkward bumbling mess.
2. Getting hung up on before you say something
I don't know if people think this takes them off a spam caller's list or something, but answering the phone and not saying anything kind of means we're going to keep calling you...forever.
3. People don't live forever
I haven't run into this myself yet, but sometimes you call a number and ask for someone and the only answer you get is "They passed away." I can assure you I will have no idea what to say the first time this happens to me.
4. It's exhausting
There's no way to explain it. You can come into the calling center fully rested and an hour in it will feel like you've been there for 18 years without a nap.
5. Getting hung up on the second you say where you're calling from
"Hi my name is Nikki calling from Susquehanna Uni--"
*click*
6. People will say anything to get you off the phone
"Now isn't a good time. I'm at the gym training for a marathon, my husband's cousins son-in-law has cancer, we just bought a new house, and student loans, am I right?"
7. Voicemails are weird
I've heard literally everything on people's voicemails while calling. Keep in mind that people actually hear the messages you record.
8. No one cleans out their mailbox
I can't leave you a message so you know to continue ignoring my calls if you don't clean out your voicemail every now and then.
9. Pronouncing names correctly can be hard
And some people get really offended when you mess it up.
10. People are mean
I've had nights where every person who answered the phone seemed thoroughly offended that I was calling them.
11. Some calls make it worth it
Shout out to all the parents and alumni who sympathize, answer the phone, and have nice conversations even if they don't have money to give. A nice conversation can turn our entire night around. Kindness goes such a long way.
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