When I first listened to Jesse Rutherford's sultry and soft voice in “Daddy Issues” I was mesmerized. The melody encapsulates you. You want to replay the song over and over again, then you hear the lyrics.

Rutherford, the lead singer, sings:

“Go ahead and cry little boy


You know that your daddy did too


You know what your mama went through


You gotta let it out soon, just let it out”

Woah. Cry little boy? You know that your daddy did too? Is he saying what I think he is? It turns out that he was. That is when I realized emptiness cannot be ascribed to gender.

Here Jesse expresses that it is okay for boys to cry over their fathers too. For context, Jesse's father left during his childhood and then later passed away. He sings:

“I didn't cry when you left at first


But now that you're dead it hurts



This time I gotta know


Where did my daddy go?”

These lyrics show that he didn't think he cared when his father left, but now, after his death, he is more hurt by his childhood. I assume that he was left with a lot of unresolved emotions which is why he wrote this song. But his song functions as so much more than emotional release. These lyrics emphasize that experiencing pain, bitterness, frustration and resentment from complicated familial relationships is normal -- for everyone.

“She has daddy issues” is something I hear on city streets and my college campus. But why is this statement so pervasive in our culture and social interactions? Outrageous in its insensitivity, but also because it assumes only women can have the famously labeled “daddy issues.”

“Daddy issues” can stem from abandonment, a non-supportive father, divorce, home turbulence, etc. There exists a plethora of definitions, assumptions and ideas about those with “daddy issues,” but the label seems to be gender specific.

Jesse's lyrics shed light on how both girls and boys can have “daddy issues.” He ends the song with the chorus:

"And if you were my little girl


I'd do whatever I could do


I'd run away and hide with you

I love that you got daddy issues, and I do too”

He makes a statement that he has daddy issues too, plainly showing that both men and women can have have “daddy issues.”

We are all vulnerable. Once society accepts that, we can stop labeling peoples' emotions by gender.

You can listen to The Neighbourhood's "Daddy Issues" here: