To The Person Who Feels They've Lost Their Fire
Start writing a post

To The Person Who Feels They've Lost Their Fire

You feel as if you've lost your will to live, like the world around is moving and you're standing still.

‘Thirteen Reasons Why’

You may not be on the ledge...but you're feeling a deep weight on your chest that your words can never fully explain. You hide it behind a joke or a funny, weird phrase. For some reason, you just don't have that fire in you anymore. You've lost your "why". You feel useless, purposeless, worthless.

All you want to do is lie in your bed and try to close your eyes hard enough to make it all go away. The thought of letting down those close to you is weighing hard on your chest but somehow it's not enough to get you up like it used to. On the flip side, some days you do go out and move about so that they don't worry about matter where you are, your mind is still left in your bed.

Lately it's been hard for you to talk about this feeling. You don't want to burden those loved ones around you with yet ANOTHER problem...especially when you know how busy they already are. It's even harder to talk to them when they just tell you you're "overreacting" or "being dramatic" about your feelings. At that point it just feels worse.

You've really done it all: therapy, medication, socializing, coping skills, and so much more. Maybe people don't understand that you're trying because you don't share much about it--truthfully, it's not their business anyways. But at this time in your life, you are exhausted. Like said before, your fire is gone.

No matter what the situation is, you're riddled with the phrase "Just get up and go do something." You wish it was that easy. Though the thought runs through your mind, you are so physically and mentally tired that the will to get up and go out is gone. So you just spend yet another day locked in your room.

All you want to do is have someone hear that you need them.

People don't understand why you feel this way, but they also aren't with you when you're lying there at 3 AM after waking up from a nightmare, crying, and staring at the locked door to make sure it stays locked. They aren't with you when your anxiety smashes in your face and you have to talk yourself down from a full blown anxiety attack.

They aren't with you when you have to soak in the messages you get of people calling you ugly and fat almost constantly. They aren't with you when you get a sudden panic in your body because the person you just passed in the hallway resembles people who've hurt and scared you. They aren't with you when you're crying in the middle of the afternoon, just wanting someone to hug you and tell you they love you.

You're scared to reach out AGAIN about all of this because you can't be called an attention seeker AGAIN. The courage you have to gather to pick up the phone or send a message sometimes takes an entire day, and by that time the person on the other line has heard it come out of your mouth one time too feels like they stopped caring.

Sometimes you feel out of control. Because of this you've just tried numbing your pain with every single unhealthy coping mechanism imaginable. You can't even talk about your feelings honestly anymore and instead bury them deep within yourself and sometimes let them free within the lines of the paper. You feel numb.

Other people think this is a sign you've gotten better. You know it's not. Only you know what it really means.

You're fighting a hard, long fight that sometimes just ends with you laying in bed all day. Other people around you can't tell what you're fighting because at the end of a long few months of having to physically and mentally hide scars and pain, you've gotten too good at hiding true feelings. But maybe now is the time to talk.

...and I know this because I am you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Panic! At The Disco Announces Breakup After 19 Years

Band Makes Breakup Announcement Official: 'Will Be No More'

panic at the disco

It's the end of an era. Originally formed in 2004 by friends in Las Vegas, Panic! At The Disco is no more.

Brendon Urie announced on Instagram that the band will be coming to an end after the upcoming Europe tour. He said that he and his wife are expecting a baby, and the life change weighed heavily in his mind to come to this decision. "Sometimes a journey must end for a new one to begin," he said.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Odyssey's response writer community is growing- read what our new writers have to say!


Each week, more response writers are joining the Odyssey community. We're excited to spotlight their voices on as they engage in constructive dialogue with our community. Here are the top three response articles of last week:

Keep Reading... Show less

To Mom

There are days when you just need your mom

To Mom

There really is no way to prepare yourself for the loss of someone. Imagine that someone being the one who carried you for 9th months in their belly, taught you how to walk, fought with you about little things that only a mother and daughter relationship could understand. You can have a countless number of father figures in your life, but really as my mom always said, " you only get one mom."

Keep Reading... Show less

The Way People In Society are Dating is Why I Don't Date

I need someone to show that they want me for me, not that they're using me to chase the idea of being in a relationship.

The Way People In Society are Dating is Why I Don't Date

You hear your phone go off. He's asking you to hang out. Then, of course, you get the advice of your friends to decipher this text. Is it just hanging out or is it more than hanging out? You've probably done this at least once in your life or at least seen a tweet where someone posted their screenshots with a potential love interest.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

Winter Break As Told By 'Friends'

Is a month at home too much to handle?


If you're anything like me, winter break is a much-needed light at the end of the tunnel after a long, stressful semester. Working hard for 15 weeks can really take a toll on a person mentally, physically AND emotionally. It's a nice change of pace to be back at home with your family and friends, but after a couple weeks, it can get, well... boring.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments