For most people, fresh starts and changes happen around January 1st, when New Year's resolutions for eating healthy and exercising more become universal promises. For me, new beginnings happen during the last week of August. The start of a new school year always holds a fresh promise of new classes and new knowledge that I couldn't wait to begin. This year, after three years in graduate school, I'm embarking on a new journey that I never expected I would take. A new program, a new department, a new field of study. I couldn't be more excited about this change, but I didn't always feel this way.
Thinking back to my freshman year of undergrad, I remember having a conversation with a high school friend about starting college and new experiences. I was happy to be at a new school, but I was also beginning to worry that something might change me. What if I become really interested in a different subject than science and end up changing my entire course of study? What if I completely switched fields all together? I didn't want that to happen.
I didn't want to experience change because I was afraid of who I would become if I wasn't the person I already was.
Six years later, I'm changing my course and I love it. I'm finally willing to alter what I believe in based on what I learn and experience in the world around me. I'm not afraid of letting myself be changed. Sometimes you have to wait until something runs its course to realize you need a change. Or maybe something will happen that will cause you to re-evaluate your life and think about what's really important to you. I learned to let go of preconceived notions, other's expectations, and just focused on what I wanted to do.
When I considered switching fields to science communication and started looking into different careers, I thought "How can this even be a job, it seems too fun!?". And then it hit me: that's what it's supposed to feel like. The old adage rings as true as ever: "Choose a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life."
I liked science and was always passionate about it. But now I understand what it means to be driven by a research question. It's more than just a passing desire to know the answer to how the world works and be able to design experiments for it. It's the passion that drives the question forward. My new research will be driving the way I practice science communication and vice versa. It's not just a job, it's a life pursuit. It's how I communicate with the world and something that I want to change in the world. I have found my passion and I am lucky enough to have realized it and pursued the opportunity to study it in a graduate program.
Starting new is going to be daunting and overwhelming at times. Graduate school is always going to be challenging, but the underlying yearn and curiosity for science communication is going to keep me going. My life will undoubtedly change many more times, even though I'm really enjoying the current track. But if change happens unexpectedly, this time I won't be afraid of it, I'll embrace it.
