How Much Freedom Do We Actually Have?

Whenever I am tired I am very blunt and sincere, to the extent that I come off as rude sometimes. A couple of weeks ago I was in a job interview early in the morning, and the interviewer asked me what my dream was. This being in the middle of the finals season of a very tiring semester, my first thought was not this.

Although I do like studying and reading and find both of my majors extremely interesting, I am not a fan of being pressured. I don't care for the argument that pressure makes you work to the best of your abilities, or that it is a part of life. I don't like being pressured, and during that interview, I realized that my dream was to not be pressured to do anything ever. I want to live a relaxed life: I want to sleep eight hours every night, read books without worrying about memorizing their details for an exam, have time to exercise every day, have time to really talk to my friends and family, simply to have time to do things at my own pace.

Of course, I didn't say this to my interviewer but opted instead to give him a polished and made up answer about how the job I was applying for would help me advance my career and make the world a better place in the process. After the interview though, I kept thinking about why I changed my answer. My conclusion was that my dream made me seem lazy and not particularly driven. Isn't it absurd though, that to want to do things at your own pace makes you seem lazy? That to want time for yourself during such a short life as we have, is seen by many as selfish or the result of lack of motivation?

Up until now, college has been the time in my life in which I got to choose the most aspects of how I live, and I have found this freedom addicting. Isn't it crazy that I find it a privilege to be able to choose the time of my classes and consequently my meals and bedtime?

Another facet of my made-up answer was my desire to make the world a better place. It's not that I don't want to contribute to global progress because I do, but is it so wrong that this isn't my dream? Isn't my dream supposed to be about me? I think that nowadays many people see doing things for yourself, even the smallest things, as selfish. If it is selfish to take time for yourself, to choose to stay a night in watching your favorite T.V. shows instead of going out, or choosing to stop being close to someone that brings you down, I think we should all be selfish. If taking care of myself is selfish, then my goal for 2019 is to be as selfish as possible!