It's Okay To Be Sad And Happy, Love, Your Antidepressants
Start writing a post
Health Wellness

It's OK To Be Happy And Sad At The Same Time—Love, Your Antidepressant

I have to remember the pills are helping me and not labeling me

168
It's OK To Be Happy And Sad At The Same Time—Love, Your Antidepressant
Callaghan Carter

In July I wrote about how I went back to therapy and how admitting I needed to go was therapeutic to myself. 8 months later I'm doing a little better, but some days are better than others. I know many people say that with a laugh at the end, but people who live with mental illness this phrase makes us vulnerable, it makes us feel weak at times.

Yet 8 months later, some days are better than others.

It wasn't until a few months ago when I noticed I needed to up my medication. I was having multiple anxiety attacks a day, I was either sleeping too much or not sleeping at all, I was constantly sick to my stomach, I wasn't eating enough or eating too much. I wasn't motivated to do anything and honestly, I'm eager about learning something new, I always have been. I wasn't going out of my way to do something I love, I was going to class, eating, and then going to bed. I had a solid autopilot routine.

It was when I was laying in my bed for three hours, the sun going down by the second hour and I was just lying in my unmade bed in the dark—that's when I realized I need to take care of myself and up my meds to get me through the simplest tasks.

The hardest part with mental illness is admitting you're not doing okay and you need a little help.

Callaghan Carter

My doctor simply said, "We'll up them and give you a kick in the ass", and that's exactly what I needed and more. I think I went months not wanting to admit that I needed help because I was scared of upping my meds, I was scared of not being okay again.

Two weeks later after upping my meds, I'm starting to feel like myself again. I'm dancing in my t-shirt and underwear in my room again. I did laundry, did the dishes, cleaned my room and wore jeans all in one day. That day, I felt exhausted still, but really really good at the same time. I felt like I was getting back on my feet and not lying in my room in the dark for hours.

I'm starting to realize that you can be happy and sad at the same time.

That's what living with mental illness is like and I have to be okay with that.

Nothing is wrong, I'm doing nothing wrong. I can't see the sunshine all the time, but I can enjoy the rain, too. I'm going to live with mental illness my whole life, thanks to genetics, but I'm starting to be okay with it all. Stressing about something I can't change is a waste of time and giving me unnecessary anxiety. I have to remember the pills are helping me and not labeling me. The pills are just an extra kick in the ass, and the pills are helping keep me alive.

Be okay with not being okay. The meds aren't the end of the world, I promise. They're there to help you. Accept the help you're capable of having and take care of yourself.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

94331
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

42524
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

66727
The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments