Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Start writing a post
Life Stages

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Seriously though.. y’all know somebody? Help ya girl out.

100
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Growing up I was never a "girly girl". I would go to work with my (step)daddy, a diesel mechanic, all the time and I would get just as dirty, if not dirtier, as he did. I enjoyed playing in mud. I loved playing softball and football. I was my happiest when I was covered in dirt. Even as I grew older into my teenage years I was never your typical girl. The people I connected more with was boys. To this day I don't really like being around other girls. I have very few girl friends. I just get a long better with guys, and I am more interested in the same things as guys. I cannot sit there and make a fuss over my hair, my nails, or my shoe collection (or the lack of). I'd much rather talk about sports, working on cars, and other typical "manly" stuff.

With all that being said.. there has always been one thing about me that is the "girl" coming out in me. I have always been fascinated with "love". I remember watching Disney movies when I was younger and thinking "man, I hope I find love like that one day." Even while watching Grease, my favorite movie as a kid, I wanted that kind of love. I've always been obsessed with love. I mean daggum, I've even had it tattooed on the side of my dang foot since I was 16 years old.

All I've ever wanted was to find my one. I want to find that kind of love that everyone hopes to have. I've thought I had found it a couple of times before, don't get me wrong, but I still haven't. And it's not because I haven't tried. I have looked for it everywhere.. At my high school, at other high schools, at work, at bars.. I even look at guys at the grocery store and think "maybe that's him. maybe he'll come up to me and tell me I'm beautiful and ask for my number." Sounds crazy, right?

Is it wrong for me to crave wanting to have someone that loves me unconditionally and thinks they're lucky to have me? I want to feel wanted. I want to feel needed. I want to feel loved. I want someone that thinks I'm amazing and that can't wait to see me or talk to me. Is all that so bad?

I try and I try and I try, but I still haven't had any luck. I find myself asking "is it me?", "what's so wrong with me?", and "why am I never good enough?" or saying "well, I messed that up.. again." A L L the time. Why do I have to assume it's me? Why do I have to think there is something wrong with me?

Even now after I've gained so much confidence I still think those things. It's the biggest thing I dislike about myself.

I tend to start talking to a guy, it'll be great, and I'll fall for them and without fail something will happen and it all goes to crap. Every single time. Over the past year I have tried so hard to find someone for me, and I have believed I had found it multiple times and yet, here I am, still single with nothing to show for all my attempts (besides a heart that's a little beaten up).

I feel like I am continuously setting myself up to get hurt. I just don't know how much more I can take..

To sum it all up.. I've been through a lot trying to find the person for me. It's been hard, and still is. There's some things I wish never would have happened, but they did, and they all happened for a reason. To lead me somewhere.. I don't know where to, but I'll figure it out one day. I just need to be patient and give it time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

31624
A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less
Christmas

Remember The True Meaning of Christmas

“Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

2180
A painting of the virgin Mary, the baby Jesus, and the wise men

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. Christmastime is a celebration, but have we forgotten what we are supposed to be celebrating? There is a reason the holiday is called Christmas. Not presentmas. Not Santamas. Not Swiftmas. Christmas.

boy standing in front of man wearing santa claus costume Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash



What many people forget is that there is no Christmas without Christ. Not only is this a time to spend with your family and loved ones, it is a time to reflect on the blessings we have gotten from Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.


Keep Reading...Show less
Golden retriever sat on the sand with ocean in the background
Photo by Justin Aikin on Unsplash

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog. I am constantly talking about my love for her. I attribute many of my dog's amazing qualities to her breed. She is a purebred Golden Retriever, and because of this I am a self-proclaimed expert on why these are the best pets a family could have. Here are 11 reasons why Goldens are the undisputed best dog breed in the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Boyfriend's Christmas Wishlist: 23 Best Gift Ideas for Her

Here are the gifts I would like to ask my boyfriend for to make this season unforgettable.

89318
Young woman opening a Christmas gift

Recently, an article on Total Sorority Move called 23 Things My Boyfriend Better Not Get Me For Christmas, was going around on social media. I hope the author of this was kidding or using digital sarcasm, but I am still repulsed and shocked by the lack of appreciation throughout this article. I would like to represent the girlfriends out there who disagree with her standpoint -- the girlfriends who would be more than happy to receive any of these gifts from their boyfriends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Two teenage girls smiling

The 2000s were a time that many young adults today can look back on, joyfully reminisce and somewhat cringe at the trends and the fads that we all used to love and adore. Here's a list of things from the golden 2000s that will have one feeling nostalgic about all of those times.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments