The Importance Of Being In The Present

The Importance Of Being In The Present

A reflection on moving forward.
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It seems like an easy concept to follow and yes, it's important for us. But how many of us actually end up doing it? I’m not saying there’s no one, but a good percentage of us always have something else covering up the present. There are two, and only two, things that can mask your present–your past, and future. To be precise, it's nearly impossible to live a life without being haunted by some elements of your past, or without worrying about the future that’s a Utopian vision. But what I’m proposing is that you clear up your mind a teeny bit and live in the present, or at least a part of it.

Living in the moment might seem like a cue line from movies, which says let’s get drunk and forget everything. Well, that can be one of the different interpretations, but the one I’m focusing on deals more about the time when you're conscious of what's happening. Most of the time, when you're about to start something new, there’s a voice that haunts you with memories of failure. It says that you can’t do it.

Another block to the initiative would be our predictions about the future. We have an interesting way of thinking, and we come up with “all” possible endings in which the odds are never in our favor. And by the way, the quotes on "all" was intentional. Though we might think through a dozen different possibilities, it's hard to consider all the factors at the same time, kind of the like Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle. So what’s the best alternative to all the hassle? It's easy on paper, just do it. But unless you actually execute what you have in mind, you never achieve the actual scenario. I do agree that you need to plan out things beforehand, but have hope that things can actually turn out well.

I can dedicate this whole paragraph to historical figures who did what they wanted to do, despite the predictions. But you’ve probably heard a lot of that already from a lot of places. So let’s focus on the present. What can be done and what can you expect when doing something that you want to do? Do expect a positive outcome, that’s rule number one. But this rule comes with a clause, which is that you also need to accept the fact that things can turn around, as well.

I just remembered a story someone told me a long time ago. A person was scared that getting out into the world is gonna kill him because a car might hit him, the street sign may drop on him, so on and so forth. So he locked himself up in a room and still ended up dead. Earthquake. Wait... that’s not how the story goes, but you get the point. You can stay inside and do nothing and still be scared, so why not face the problem and get on with your life? If you expect the worst possible scenario, the actual scenario might disappoint you. The present may seem scary, but most of the time, it’s just our predictive nature. Have a sense of judgment and prediction, but know also that it’s hard to predict everything unless you have some magical powers.

It’s easy to be distracted by thinking about your past or being so focused on the future. We do need to look at the past and learn, and we need to have some goal for the future. But if you get fixated, you end up losing the pathway to your future, which is the present. It's scary when you realize that time doesn’t actually stop. It knows only one way, and that's forward. A moment lost is lost forever (not my words, but some other great soul said it). But does that mean we shouldn't waste a single moment? That seems impossible. What I’m trying to say here is that you can plan and mourn the future and the past, but you don’t get anywhere near either. You can’t change the past, but use the present and correct the wrongs. Nor can you predict everything. You can merely hope and use the present to reach your goal. The key is the present.

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I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.
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Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.

Why?

Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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