The Importance Of Being In The Present

The Importance Of Being In The Present

A reflection on moving forward.
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It seems like an easy concept to follow and yes, it's important for us. But how many of us actually end up doing it? I’m not saying there’s no one, but a good percentage of us always have something else covering up the present. There are two, and only two, things that can mask your present–your past, and future. To be precise, it's nearly impossible to live a life without being haunted by some elements of your past, or without worrying about the future that’s a Utopian vision. But what I’m proposing is that you clear up your mind a teeny bit and live in the present, or at least a part of it.

Living in the moment might seem like a cue line from movies, which says let’s get drunk and forget everything. Well, that can be one of the different interpretations, but the one I’m focusing on deals more about the time when you're conscious of what's happening. Most of the time, when you're about to start something new, there’s a voice that haunts you with memories of failure. It says that you can’t do it.

Another block to the initiative would be our predictions about the future. We have an interesting way of thinking, and we come up with “all” possible endings in which the odds are never in our favor. And by the way, the quotes on "all" was intentional. Though we might think through a dozen different possibilities, it's hard to consider all the factors at the same time, kind of the like Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle. So what’s the best alternative to all the hassle? It's easy on paper, just do it. But unless you actually execute what you have in mind, you never achieve the actual scenario. I do agree that you need to plan out things beforehand, but have hope that things can actually turn out well.

I can dedicate this whole paragraph to historical figures who did what they wanted to do, despite the predictions. But you’ve probably heard a lot of that already from a lot of places. So let’s focus on the present. What can be done and what can you expect when doing something that you want to do? Do expect a positive outcome, that’s rule number one. But this rule comes with a clause, which is that you also need to accept the fact that things can turn around, as well.

I just remembered a story someone told me a long time ago. A person was scared that getting out into the world is gonna kill him because a car might hit him, the street sign may drop on him, so on and so forth. So he locked himself up in a room and still ended up dead. Earthquake. Wait... that’s not how the story goes, but you get the point. You can stay inside and do nothing and still be scared, so why not face the problem and get on with your life? If you expect the worst possible scenario, the actual scenario might disappoint you. The present may seem scary, but most of the time, it’s just our predictive nature. Have a sense of judgment and prediction, but know also that it’s hard to predict everything unless you have some magical powers.

It’s easy to be distracted by thinking about your past or being so focused on the future. We do need to look at the past and learn, and we need to have some goal for the future. But if you get fixated, you end up losing the pathway to your future, which is the present. It's scary when you realize that time doesn’t actually stop. It knows only one way, and that's forward. A moment lost is lost forever (not my words, but some other great soul said it). But does that mean we shouldn't waste a single moment? That seems impossible. What I’m trying to say here is that you can plan and mourn the future and the past, but you don’t get anywhere near either. You can’t change the past, but use the present and correct the wrongs. Nor can you predict everything. You can merely hope and use the present to reach your goal. The key is the present.

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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Sociolinguistics Series: Part 50

Language is a powerful tool.

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It's part 50--halfway to 100! I'm so glad to still be here writing! In this section, we will talk about Dr. Shikaki's findings on how Palestinians view the state of Israel.

25 years ago, 85% of Palestinians supported a two-state solution. 10 years ago, this number decreased to 70%. Dr. Shikaki believes this was due to an increase in the prominence of Islamism in Palestinian society during the second intifada; Islamists were opposed to the two-state solution. In the most recent survey, the December 2018 one, only 43% of Palestinians supported the two state solution.

In 2000, American President Bill Clinton met with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and PA Chairman Yasser Arafat at the Camp David Summit to come up with a solution to the conflict. It ended without an agreement, but in December of 2000, Clinton once again proposed a resolution: the Clinton Parameters.

The content of the Parameters basically allowed Israel to annex settlements while Palestine to take 94-96% of the West Bank, as well as Arab neighborhoods in East Jerusalem. There were other guidelines regarding territory, refugees, security, and the end of the conflict. Essentially, the West Bank would have been split up by Israeli roads and settlements--which is kind of the reality today.

Both the Israeli government and Arafat accepted the terms with reservations, and Arafat wrote to Clinton a letter asking for clarifications on the terms. Clinton and Dennis Ross, an envoy of the Parameters, publicized that Arafat had refused to accept the terms; they painted Palestinians in a negative light, saying that Israel wanted to accept the peace negotiations but Palestine did not.

American Lawyer Robert Malley was at the Camp David Summit and oversaw parts of the Clinton Parameters. In 2001, he said that three myths had come out of the failure of both negotiations, and that these three myths were dangerous to any future peace processes if people kept believing in them.

These myths are as follows: "Camp David was an ideal test of Mr. Arafat's intentions," "Israel's offer met most if not all of the Palestinians' legitimate aspirations," and "The Palestinians made no concession of their own."

He said that these three statements were not true but very heavily publicized by America and Israel after the negotiations failed; rather, there is more nuance to each of these issues, and America and Israel have just as much responsibility in the failure of the Summit and Parameters as Palestine did. Malley wrote, "If peace is to be achieved, the parties cannot afford to tolerate the growing acceptance of these myths as reality."

Anyway, what does this have to do with Dr. Shikaki? He polled Palestinians not only on the their attitudes to the two-state solution, but the Clinton Parameters as well. 25 years ago, there was 60% support for the Clinton Parameters by Palestinians, but the June 2018 poll showed that the number had gone down to 37%.

The last ten years shows a significant decrease in public support for both the two-state solution and the Clinton Parameters, and it could be a result of disagreeing with specific parts of the proposals (such as how the Temple Mount/Dome of the Rock or Jerusalem is delegated).

I did some further digging when I got home, and I found this data from the UN Division for Palestinian Rights website:

"A 25 December [2000] published poll found that 48% of the 501 Israelis questioned were opposed to the proposals; 57% would object to Palestinian control of the Al-Aqsa Mosque compound; 72% were against even a limited return of Palestinian refugees to Israel. A 29 December published poll found that 56% of the Israelis would oppose a peace agreement reached on the basis of the Parameters."

This shows that though public media--especially Western media--may have painted the Palestinian government as the villain (and Israel and America as the "victims"), the proposals accepted by either government had varied support among its people.

The Israeli civilian population did not want to accept the Clinton Parameters because of the way certain things would be resolved; their reservations lie with the Temple Mount/Al-Aqsa Mosque because the Temple Mount, which is the holiest site in the world for Jews, would have been given to Palestine, while Jews would have control of the Western Wall of the Temple Mount (which is the status quo).

In addition, there was a section in the Clinton Parameters that dealt with the right of return for Palestinians, where there would be a certain number of Palestinian refugees who settled in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, while other Palestinians either would become citizens of their host countries, move to a third-party country, or settle back into the land that is Israel Proper (with permission from the Israeli government, of course); many Israelis did not support this.

That was the public opinion years ago. Today, there is even less support for these proposals. Dr. Shikaki outlined three issues as reasons for a decrease in support of compromise, which we will cover in the next section. Stay tuned!

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