Lessons I've Learned After 1 Year Of Grieving
Start writing a post

The Lessons I've Learned After 365 Days Of Grieving

You can't grieve alone.

The Lessons I've Learned After 365 Days Of Grieving
Lukas Jordan

It's the week leading up to the one-year "anniversary" of my Mimi's death, and saying I'm a mess is an understatement. One minute I'm fine studying for a class and the next thing I know I'm crying with a memory floating in. Grieving is an emotional rollercoaster which I wish we learned more about before the process happens. I'm learning it's a "process" I'll be going through for the rest of my life.

There are a lot of things I don't remember and I think that's the hard part of grieving. I don't remember her smell or the sound of her giggle right of the bat. When I think about my Mimi I think of her giggle, and I wish I recorded it so I'd have that sound forever. I've learned a lot of lessons though in the 365 days without her.

It's okay to cry.

At the age of 22, I have become more comfortable with my emotions. In high school I would have my typical meltdowns out of frustration, or if I was angry. But I'd never cry if something really physically hurt me, or if I was going through a hard time. I would put grieving under the "going through a hard time" category. Let yourself completely break down. Let someone hold you. Let yourself be a mess.

You're going to find things you forgot existed.

I was grabbing something out of my closet for my capstone performance coming up, and an envelope fell and it had my name written in my Mimi's handwriting. When I saw it I was ready to instantly crumble. My mom told me not to read the card, but I don't listen to her all the time. It was the last Christmas Card from her and Bop that we all got, a glass dragonfly ornament, and a printed sheet about what dragonflies mean and symbols they stand for. It was a hard thing to find this week, but it was like a sign I needed from her, she was watching over us.

You need to check in on each other.

I don't mean call your family once a week and ask "hey how ya' doing?" I mean the hard ones, "I know ____ is coming up, how are you doing?" ____ as in: your birthday, your concert or performance, graduation, or Easter. Easter is a big holiday coming up for my family and talking about it my aunt simple said, "but I don't want to cry." And that showed me how she was doing. Some days are better than others, but these next couple of weeks are going to be hard. Check in on each other every once in a while.

They won't physically be there for important moments anymore.

A really hard lesson I have to remind myself is, she isn't going to be physically at my capstone, my college graduation or my wedding, but she will be there. I hate when people are like, "She'll be there in spirit" because I don't know, I get tired of people saying that. Many people have been saying, "she'll be front row" or, "she'll have the best seat in the house" which are all true and sounds a little more like my Mimi and me.

It's hard to not let grieving get in the way of your daily lives. It's hard for it not to affect the work you need to do, moments you need to be present in, and let alone sleeping. I see her in pictures, on the streets, and in my dreams. She's everywhere and it's not like I want to escape her, I just want it to get easier. Learn to be okay with that. I'm still learning to be okay with it, I see it as a sign. Even if the old lady turns around and it's not my Mimi, I still am thinking of her and she's here.

If you're currently grieving, you're not alone. There are people surrounding you with love and support and are also grieving after losing a loved one. Don't push those people away, let them in and let them be there for you. You can't grieve alone.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments