Growing up is scary. It's terrifying going into the unknown, especially when you aren't sure of what you want to do with your life. You're unsure of what will happen, but you do have some ideas of what it is you want to do but aren't sure if any of those ideas will make others happy, let alone yourself happy.
As kids we had it made. We didn't have to worry about anything. The only thing we seemed to care about was who our best friend for the day was going to be that day and who we were going to be playing with that day in the schoolyard at recess. Everyone always asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up and all we ever gave were answers like, firefighter, ballerina, teacher, or singer.
They always seem to tell us that we can be anything we wanted to be, but that slowly changed over time as we grew older.
They told us we needed to be more realistic.
Growing up for me was difficult, I was always the one who was unsure of herself. I became shy for an unknown reason and it's still with me today, even while I'm pushing myself to grow out of it. Some might say I'm not shy, but trust me I am. I grew up with two sisters who always seemed to know what they wanted to do. They always seemed to do great in school, but for me I did okay.
Growing up we all wanted to be teachers, we would always play school after we finished our homework. Through the years and as we got older that all changed. My older sister went to school for childcare and continued to get more degrees to help her. She is now going to school to be a social worker. For my younger sister, she wanted to be a nurse and now she's going for business. I admire them for knowing exactly what they want to do.
We are supposed to know what we want to do once we enter high school and if we don't know, then we are told that we should figure it out fast. We are supposed to know where we want to go for college and what we want to do by at least our junior year of high school, but for a lot of people, this isn't the case. There are people who are unsure of what they want to do. Some people want to travel and find themselves before planing anything else out and they get told they shouldn't do this. However, for most, they do know what they want to do and in some ways, they seem to get praised and those who are unsure are told by others that we should be more like those who know.
However, for me being 23 and a little unsure of what I want to do is not fun. I wanted to be a teacher, then a vet, then a writer, then a social worker, and back to wanting to be a writer, I have switched back and forth from being a social worker and a writer that I feel like I will be in school forever. I have changed my mind so many times because I was scared of displeasing those in my life.
But, I have come to the decision that I will be living for myself.
I want to be a writer because I enjoy creating stories and just writing altogether. Whenever I get asked what I want to do and I tell them I want to be writer I always get asked the follow up questions, "What kind of writer do you want to be?" or "What do you want to write?" my answer is always, "I don't know." or "I don't care." quite frankly I really don't care, as long as I get to write I will be happy.
Even though I seem sure about what I want to do, I'm still very unsure and it's still scary. No matter what you want to do or how confident you feel about what it is you want to do it will always be scary. You aren't sure if it'll work out or if you'll be successful. With today's society, nothing is guaranteed and its a sad truth.
Yes, I want to be a writer, but I don't know if that's where my destiny will take me.
It's okay to be unsure of what you want to and it's okay if you are sure. Those who are successful in their life and their career probably weren't sure at first that was what they wanted to do. People change their minds on what it is they want to make of themselves and that's okay too. You don't have to be 100 percent positive on anything. I feel that living your life to your best abilities is the best way you can be successful.
