My Experience Going Semi-Viral On TikTok
Going viral may not be as fun as you think.
In today's world, the quality of the content you produce on social media is dictated by the amount of views or likes you get, especially in the case of TikTok. Because of this, everyone wants to get as many likes or views as possible, whether that be from participating in the latest trend, showing off your dancing skills, or doing something so stupid that everyone talks about it. But what many people don't see is the initial reaction that a typical content creator has when their first photo or video goes viral.
For me, all it took to get a whopping 300,000 views and over 70,000 likes was a "Which "WandaVision" Character Are You?" filter and a bit of inspiration from other content creators that I follow. But what I did not expect was for thousands of views to start flooding in on this video titled "WandaVision: Murder Mystery Edition," which took no more than five short minutes of effort. It did not take long to realize that, for whatever reason, my video was starting to blow up, unlike my other videos in the past.
After seeing where my video was going, I was not entirely sure what to do next. It started with giving my sister updates for every thousand likes and every 10,000 views while we stood in disbelief. But then the comments began flooding in, reading "part two?" or "Do this again but with Black Widow!" and I quickly felt the urge to produce more content to satisfy the people in that comment section and the hundreds of new followers that I had gained. At first, this wasn't necessarily a bad thing, purely because I was still enjoying myself. But I quickly wasn't enjoying myself a couple of videos later.
After a couple of weeks, my viewership noticeably decreased, and I felt an overwhelming pressure to remedy this somehow and get back on track. I found myself constantly on TikTok, obsessively checking my views and responding to comments, and those comments became my next problem. While most of the comments were very positive, there were occasional negative comments that popped up, and in the mindset I was in, it was hard just to ignore them. I now needed to appease these people in my comment section so that the negative comments would stop, and the positive comments would come flooding back in. In one case, the comments were so much more negative than positive that I ended up taking the video down and pretending as if it never happened. In the end, it became apparent that what I had not realized about going even semi-viral was that in reaching thousands of people through my content, I also gave them the ability to reach me. Something I was clearly not prepared for at all.
Overall, while at this point I am much more appreciative of how well those few videos did and I now can say "I actually went kinda viral on TikTok a few times," I think it is also important to acknowledge the toll that this experience can take on one's mental health, especially that of teenagers and young adults. I may have gotten past it now, but this still sent me spiraling over 300,000 views, which is still a lot. Meanwhile, teens and young adults are getting millions of views who likely had similar experiences in regards to their mental health. It is incredibly easy to claim that something as simple as views or likes would not matter to you, but it is impossible to tell how thousands of views or likes could affect you until that's exactly what you have.
The Fake World - My Personal Experience On Instagram
Body Dysmorphia, Followers, and Posting Photos—How can Instagram NOT affect my mental health.
The sticker on Kendall Jenner's phone says, "social media seriously harms your mental health." Despite her heavy presence online, she and many others are taking steps towards pointing out the dangers of Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and other social media.
While it may seem like a source of inspiration, social media (Instagram in particular), seems to be causing people like me more negativity than anything else.
"People like me…", what does this mean? I am a 19-year-old female college student with serious body dysmorphia. By definition, body dysmorphia is "a distinct mental disorder in which a person is preoccupied with an imagined physical defect or a minor defect that others often cannot see." Those with the disorder often perceive themselves as ugly or obsess over ways to improve their physical appearance.
I grew up in the ballet world—one that emphasizes your weight and bases a large amount of success on attaining a specific body type. The ideal silhouette is long, willowy, and malnourished-looking. I have a more muscular build for a ballet dancer. Some days I see myself as a beautiful person on the inside and out, and other days I am the complete opposite.
My body dysmorphia comes and goes, but I know this: every time I open the Instagram app, I become consumed with my physical appearance and attaining the perfect body. I end up in a comparison game that I did not sign up for, obsessing over my imperfections and ultimately feeling unhappy despite all the blessings I have been given.
I initially created an Instagram to follow the trends—everyone at the time (when I was in middle school and high school in the 2010s) had an account and posted cool, artsy photos. I wanted to join in because I liked being behind the camera. Soon enough, however, Instagram started to place emphasis on being in front of the camera and now, seems to be a competition about who can look the best and show the most skin. As someone who is not always comfortable in her own skin no matter the outfit, it becomes quite the struggle to keep up with the followers, likes, comments, and appearance of being confident.
It was not until this year that I started to realize "the fake" in just about every photo on my feed. The "Instagram models," real-life models, and others post constantly because it brings fame, attention, and for some, confidence. I applaud anyone who believes Instagram is a positive in their lives, but many people that I know feel the same way I do—even without explicitly saying so. I am constantly reminding myself that people pay to have their photos edited. There are other apps like Facetune which are designed to alter the real-you into Instagram-you. I believe Instagram is wishful thinking—wishing you really look like what you post. While I take part in the comparison game, comparing every part of my body to famous models, I do not take part in the paid editing game. I do not have apps that will give me a jawline or thinner legs. I do not have an app that will change my face shape. I do not applaud myself on this, as I am more self-conscious than ever and have not posted a photo since February.
However, I am strong enough to know that the fake world on Instagram does not take into account real-life aspects like someone's charisma, personality, voice, behavior, etc. It does not guarantee you friends, likes, or happiness. It is taking a chance to put yourself out there, however you wish. It is up to you to interpret what you see and have a sense of your own self-worth.
With this being said, Instagram does come with some benefits. There are a few brave souls who are not afraid to post un-edited photos and who do bring awareness to the falseness and extreme editing. Instagram also comes with accounts not dedicated to selfies, but that serve as platforms for important causes such as human suffering, pollution of the earth, animal brutality, and the like.
Instagram is overwhelming with its positives and negatives, and it is up to me to decide what to believe and what to perceive as false. I find it helpful to take breaks from the app by logging out. Whenever I do decide to post next, I will do my best to post for ME, thinking about my own well-being and creating a positive message for all.