"We have the worst laws we have ever seen." 

OK, first question, who is "we?" And why is it used twice? Is this an attack on the American political system or the ramblings of a regional manager?

"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information."

Clearly the work of someone who doesn't know how to do research... Fake news or another internet scam Michael Scott has fallen victim to?

"People love me. And you know what? I've been very successful. Everybody loves me."

I think we can agree that both men have been very successful. Trump is the President of The United States, and Michael Scott started writing his book "Somehow I Manage."

"A person who is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10."

Honestly... Michael or Trump? It's hard to say.

"I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all, and it's terrible." 

I think we've all said things like this.

"Inventory is boring. In the islands they don't make you do stuff like take inventory. Why do you think so many businesses moved to the Caymans?" 

Bored office workers unite! But, who knows? Our president is also a successful business owner.

"The worst thing a man can do is go bald. Never let yourself go bald."

Hmm... neither man is bald. But one is much closer than the other.

"I guess I've been working so hard, I forgot what it's like to be hardly working."

Don't we all, sometimes.

"I have a great relationship with African Americans, as you possibly have heard. I just have great respect for them. And they like me. I like them."

Which dynamic duo: Stanley and Michael or Obama and Trump?

"Ok, too many different words coming at me from too many different sentences."

The English language can be confusing... especially when you don't know any other languages.

"I think I am actually humble. I think I'm much more humble than you would understand."

Someone doesn't quite understand what "humble" means...

"Is there something besides "Mexican' you prefer to be called? Something less offensive?"

This seems a bit to "nice" for one of the choices...

"It's simply beyond words. It's incalculable." 

Maybe Michael talking about his relationship with Jan... or maybe Trump's statement on the size of his hands.

"I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."

Have you?

"Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog and will do it again -- just watch. He can do much better!"

Obviously he's a HUGE "Twilight" fan.

"Eventually we're going to get something done and it's going to be really, really good." 

Is this the government speaking or a mid-range paper company?

"I captivated the guy who captivated 1000 guys."

Who could Trump captivate? Who could Michael captivate?

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

I think George Bush did this too...

"You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people."

So does that mean he's rich... or poor?

"It's one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water."

"That's what she said."