Obviously, while my girlfriend and I (both avid Potterheads since middle school) caught up on the movies before seeing Captain Marvel, we inevitably ended up sorting the main few, which snowballed into a full-blown Sorting Ceremony during which every Marvel character we could think of was assigned a House.
This was a lot of fun for both of us. However, each character was sorted with a complete understanding of their history and what happened to and because of them in the movies. Therefore, this list is equipped with many spoilers, so be forewarned as you venture forth into this excruciatingly deliberated list.
With that, we're going, to begin with the Ravenclaws, and yes, it is because I'm a Ravenclaw and extremely biased.
1. Tony Stark aka Iron Man: Ravenclaw
Photo by hdwallpaper_made_for_fans on Instagram
At first blush, our first Avenger in the lineup would appear to be a Gryffindor with all the heroism. However, as his skills with technology are the vessel he uses to complete his heroics, he is the first Ravenclaw of the bunch.
2. Pepper Pots: Ravenclaw
Following closely behind her hubby is Ms. Pepper Pots, the on again-off again girlfriend of Tony Stark and CEO of Stark Industries. She's as brilliant as she is beautiful which makes them two little ravens in heaven.
3. Banner: Ravenclaw
Banner all-natural is one of the easiest pegs for a Ravenclaw. The man is obsessed with science, technology and learning and makes sure to use those qualities for the greater good.
4. Dr. Strange: Ravenclaw
Photo by Dr. Strange Official on Instagram
Another obvious pick for a Ravenclaw is Dr. Steven Strange. Even after leaving the medical field due to an injury he just devoted himself to a different type of study. Also, his cleverness seems to have had a major impact on the course of the infinity wars, which hopefully will be explained a little better in End Game.
5. Vision: Ravenclaw
Photo by Midqards on Instagram
Vision, literally created from the Mind Stone, is a no brainer (no pun intended? I think there's a pun in there.) Watching his development into a conscious humanoid was a beautiful process, and no one deserves justice more than him.
6. Gamora: Ravenclaw
Gamora is one of the 5 of the Guardians of the Galaxy from the first and second movie, as well as the love interest of Star-Lord. I'll admit, I placed her in Slytherin first because of her connection to Thanos. It was my lovely girlfriend that made me reconsider, and I decided that she is more so clever by nature and just got dealt the worst of cards.
7. Clint Barton aka Hawkeye: Ravenclaw
Photo by Filmic Box on Youtube
Clint is another that appears Gryffindor on the surface, but just like with Iron Man, it comes down to his fighting style. Hawkeye, besides the fact that he literally has a bird in his alter-ego name, is calculated and technical in his approach to archery and consistently uses brain along with his brawn.
8. Shuri: Ravenclaw
Shuri is the sister of King T'Chala of Wakanda and first appeared in "Black Panther." She is truly the brains behind the whole operation—no one is a better wiz with the vibranium than that lady.
9. Wong: Ravenclaw
Photo by JoBlo Movie Clips on Youtube
Wong's first appearance was in the Dr. Strange movie as a keeper of the ancient texts of the Mystic Arts. His devotion to protecting the knowledge they possess and upholding the Kamar-Taj's mission leaves no doubt where he'd be sorted.
10. Nick Fury: Ravenclaw
Photo by Top Movie Clips on Youtube
The leader of the whole shabang: Fury almost got put in Slytherin, among others. The reasoning behind that was because he's got so much, well, fury. He's practically a force of nature. However, he ended up in Ravenclaw because of the position he holds. His job requires him to be analytical, selectively secretive, good at coordinating a lot of moving parts and pragmatic in how he allocates skill sets. He can also be considered an expert in his field, but the details of that are in Captain Marvel which I refuse to spoil for anyone.
11. Steve Rogers aka Captain America: Hufflepuff
Photo by Official_CaptainAmerica on Instagram
The official/unofficial leader of our Hufflepuffian crew is Captain America, embodying everything that makes up a true Hufflepuff. Cap. shows loyalty to anyone and everyone, even Iron Man after their battle in Civil War. His loyalty to Bucky and Peggy Carter transcends nearly a decade, and his leadership of the Avengers rivals only Tony.
12. Peter Parker aka Spider-Man: Hufflepuff
Photo by TomHollandCharm on Instagram
This adorable little munchkin earns a spot in this group for his friendship. Though he is both brave and extremely intelligent, he never loses his fun-loving devotion to the team and their efforts. This comprises of the bulk of his personality at this age, and was the youngest of the team...hopefully still is. We'll see in June.
13. Peter Quill aka Star Lord: Hufflepuff
Photo by All HQ Clips on Youtube
The first of the Guardians of the Galaxy is also the protagonist of the movies. Peter Quill is half human one that the Sorting Hat would've taken an extra minute or two on. Part of me wanted to put him in Slytherin for his lawless excursions, but he really is the glue that keeps the Guardians together, showing above par instincts for friendship and teamwork.
14. Groot: Hufflepuff
Photo by Filmic Box on Youtube
The next Guardian to fall under Hufflepuff, and one of my personal favorites of the whole franchise, shows his total devotion to his friends, compassion for living things and appreciation for life through his three-word large vocabulary. I hope I can speak for us all when I say, " We are Groot."
15. Drax: Hufflepuff
The final Guardian from the orignial 5 to earn the badgerish honor is Drax, and primarily for his heart breaking quest to avenge the death of his wife and child. He's not the only character in the franchise to be on this type of mission, but his devout perseverance in this light as well as his affection for his friends proves despite his fierce appearance that hes an under-cover softy.
16. Mantis: Hufflepuff
Photo by Vengadorunavezvengador on Instagram
Though she came a little late to the game, appearing for the first time in the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie, Mantis would be an easy pick for Hufflepuff merely from her powers as an empath. However, she thrives under the label even more because of her sensitivity and gigantic heart as a newer, softer side to this team of misfits.
17. Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow: Hufflepuff
Photo by Remixed for Hotness on Youtube
Black Widow, affectionately nicknamed "Nat," was another tricky one to organize. I thought a woman as murderous, skilled and resilient as that had to be a Slytherin. But, again, I was blinded by her past instead of judging her on her actions. I feel bad for her because she really does her best in Civil War, and always really, to keep the gang together. However, she shows particular devotion to her partner Hawkeye, Cap and Banner if her affections are returned even to the slightest degree.
18. Okoye: Hufflepuff
Photo by Black Panther on Instagram
The Wakandan general is far easier to place than a few of the others. She is self-admittedly entirely devoted to protecting her king and her country. This is proven time and time again, most devastatingly when she must let the former queen, S.H.E.I.L.D agent and princess Shuri venture into the wilderness alone, opting to stay behind and protect the community instead under the rule off Killmonger. Though, this beautiful quality makes the open wound that is Infinity Wars all the worse.
19. King T'Challa aka Black Panther: Gryffindor
Photo by Black Panther on Instagram
It seemed only fitting that this natural born leader follow his fierce general as the first of the Gryffindors. T'CHalla as a Gryffindor is a slam dunk. He's brave, instinctively takes charge, is virtuous, merciful and fair. He also has an obvious love for his country and the well being of all men, which is why his addition as a sort-of Avenger was a game changer.
20. Thor: Son of Oden: Gryffindor
Photo by ChrisHemsworth_love on Instagram
Another one of my personal favorites (although its because he looks like a big lesbian) is the king of Asgard and also another easy placement. I mean, he literally wears the Gryffindor colors for god's sake. Another selfless leader, skilled in combat and wise beyond his years, Marvel fans look forward to seeing how Thor overcomes all odds yet again to save more than just the Norse and Asgardians.
21. Heimdall: Gryffindor
Heimdal is another mythological character from the realm of Thor and is one of the most faultless characters in the franchise. Practically every time he appears in a movie he sacrifices himself to protect others. He assists Thor in countless adventures and takes it upon himself to hide the Asgardians in Ragnarok totally of his own accord. He was an invaluable addition to the group and deserved better.
22. Bucky: Gryffindor
Photo by Film Clips 4k on Youtube
Behind the literally tortured past and the absolute sh*t storm he endured, Bucky has roots in Gryffindor. In fact, its what bonds he and Rogers together so eternally. He readily joined the army before becoming the Winter Soldier and hated himself for the crimes he was forced to commit. Also, he never failed to stand up for Rogers and defend their friendship, which, as it turns out, it would appear he would do for anyone.
23. Sam Wilson aka Falcon: Gryffindor
Photo by John Nemesis on Youtube
Wilson fell into this House for his morals. From his first appearance in Winter Soldier he had a strict moral compass that dictated all of his decision making. The eternal partner to Captain America, he unquestioningly follows Cap. in to battle merely because he believes in Cap's judgement and priorities. Although they may break a law or two in the process, Falcon's focus stays clear.
24. James Rhodes aka War Machine: Gryffindor
The last of the Gryffindor fellows is the closest comrade of Iron Man, using a suit of his own whilst on retainer for the military, and also a total boy scout. He foils Wilson in that his devotion to the rules is not dictated by his own standards, but by the law of the land. In fact, he abandons Tony at one point and sides with the government instead. This can be seen as honorable from one perspective, but its why I'm not as fond of him as I am Falcon.
25. Loki: Slytherin
The leader of the Slytherin tribe is the character that everybody loves to hate. He is a total butt head, and I'm not just saying that because my girlfriend has the biggest crush on Tom Hiddleston. He's known as the trickster and it totally motivated by his own but surprises even himself sometimes by showing acts of kindness when he's not faking his own death (which happens often.) If he were to pull out one more spectacular trick, I, for one, would not be mad.
26. Hulk: Slytherin
Photo by Canary_energy on Instagram
I know what you're thinking, and no, its not just because he's green. I separated the Big Guy from Banner for a reason, and it's because they're two totally distinct and different characters. Ragnarok taught us that, too, among other things. He's a Slytherin for a few reasons, and most of them are easy to spot: he selfishly buries Banner for huge amounts of time to get some glory and fame, doesn't prioritize a fight even if it means saving people and is just a naturally angsty boy.
27. Wanda Maximoff aka Scarlet Witch: Slytherin
Photo by Explore Wh!te on Youtube
This is one that's still being hotly debated by my girlfriend and me, but I'm stubbornly standing by my decision. For one, she did spend ample time on the dark side, and apparently enjoyed her time there. Though she feels guilt for the destruction she caused in Civil War and despairs over taking life, she still has a streak of self-preservation that can't be ignored.
This is reinforced in Infinity Wars with her obsessive protection of Vision, and while some may argue that this shows loyalty (cough, Melanie, cough cough) it is not extended to the rest of the group. Therefore, this is proof that she was still looking out for her own interests defending her man so desperately—and for someone who has lost as much as she, who can blame her for giving so much to the one sable loved one she has left?
28. Rocket: Slytherin
This one isn't so hard to grasp, what with his history of thievery and being conniving. While he's got mad love for his other Guardians, he has a harder time accepting his place in society, and frankly hates himself a little bit. He, too, shows loyalty to a selective few and has moments where he deviates from character, but makes it clear time and time again that he'd put saving his own skin before anything else.
29. Scott Lang aka Ant Man: Slytherin
Photo by TopMovieClips on Youtube
Another that smoothly falls into place was Scott Lang, the ex-cat burglar. He mainly earned this spot for his almost inability to follows the rules. Although he shows his complexity as a character by working in a team on more than one occasion, at the same time he's usually getting something out of it in return. The ongoing battle for the rights to his daughter also reaffirm this classification, for he breaks rules to see and protect her despite his ex-wife's, the new husband's and the court's wishes.
P.S./Confessional: The Wasp is not included in the line up because I just have yet to see the squeal to the first "Ant Man." I apologize for my ineptitude.
30. Nebula: Slytherin
Photo by Filmic Box on Youtube
Nebula is the second one my lady and I strongly disagree on. To put it plainly, I see her as a Slytherin purely because she came from the bad side, also a daughter of Thanos and sister to Gamora, and she definitely liked it. For a while there she was all for daddy's plan to wipe out half of all living beings. Even though she had a change of heart in the second Guardians movie, Snape in the Harry Potter series did the same and he was still a true Slytherin—some would say even the best thing to come from the House.
31: Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel: Gryffindor
Photo by Nerdicismo on Instagram
After we got through the bad Slytherins (I kid, I kid), I figured we'd end on a hopeful note, true to the most recent Avenger movie. the Captain is a ray of sunshine in these dark, dark days. I'll be careful not to put any spoilers here as the movie is so new, but she is easily a top contender for one of the most powerful and bad a*s heroes ever to come from the Universe. At first, I was a little peeved the Avengers had done so much work to protect the Earth and she was MIA the whole time, but her arrival is nothing short of timely, and I truly believe she has the leadership and ability to handle anything that End Game sends their way. For this, and many other reasons I won't name, she really is a true Gryffindor.
