Vulnerability Is A Gateway Drug
How reaching your lowest point can bring you closer to the people you love.
There are times when things don't go well, and other times when you find yourself so lost you're not sure if you're moving forward or backward. When you're feeling that way it's good to have people to help guide you. Sometimes it's not even people it's a belief. Something to lead you out of the rubble. Breaking down is human, it happens to all of us at some point. However, it's always better when it happens privately. When you can slay your demons in your own, blast some music and move on.
Well, I've recently experienced the opposite, being broken in front of those you love. Initially having that wound exposed for them to see felt like it would be worse than having fallen. I anticipated it because we're all expected to perform and do well. Failures are brushed off, pushed aside and seen as a result of weakness, laziness or incompetence. Another reason why I expected blame was because it would mean that I wasn't good enough.
What I got instead was so much love and understanding that it helped me heal. Coming to terms with failure can leave you questioning yourself in negative ways. It brings up feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt that can cloud your judgment and leave you feeling stuck. Getting past those times on your own can be a hurdle. What's also a hurdle is trying to overcome negative emotions by internalizing them. It prolongs the amount of time you spend in pain and prevents you from taking steps towards a solution.
Vulnerability is something we all find uneasy, as Brene Brown taught us "it's strength and courage in others but weakness in us". Which is unfortunate because it's what allows us to relate to one another and develop deeper relationships. It's how you, learn who the critics are and who counts. It's how I got closer to my circle because instead of criticizing me, they shared their moments of uncertainty and I learned that they understand and I'm not alone. Lean into your vulnerability, try and fail and get back up. Follow the path you're meant to and learn every step of the way.
If You Find This LetterLillian Oliver
Georgia O'Keeffe
