For years, I have heard two very contradictory things: "Just be yourself" and "Fake it 'til you make it." Both of which are typically used when describing a social situation involving people who you want to leave a good impression with. But which do you choose? Do you show your true colors to unfamiliar faces? Or do you put a smile on your face even when you don't want to? I have seen and experienced both methods and both have failed and succeeded. Unfortunately, it has taken years for me to the answer the question of which method is better. The truth is, there is no right answer.
This should go without saying, but everyone is different. I, for one, am not socially inclined. I am an undeniably awkward individual, who often comes up with witty things to say in conversations that happened half a decade ago while in the shower. Though I long for better quality social interaction, I rarely get out of the house. This dichotomy of social longing is a psychological tree in the shape of a two pronged fork, where the roots are whether or not I should show people who I really am. If I show people who I really am, they may not like what they see, or even worse, I may push them away. If I refuse to be myself, it creates a void that can only be satisfied by showing people who I really am.
I have learned that it takes a light touch of both. In larger groups or around people who are unfamiliar with you and vice versa, you have to put that smile on and only reveal a select portion of your true self. In the presence of good friends and good company, it is important that you show who you really are and only put a smile on when necessary. The reasoning behind the latter is that these are the people who will be there at the milestones in your life no matter what, such as graduations, engagements, weddings, the births of your children, anniversaries, and lastly people who you can regale memories of these events with in your old age and continue to make new ones.
It is a basic human instinct for positive social interaction, but it is important to not lose sight of yourself. People can, and should, change but never for acceptance. When we do that, we go down the wrong path and we have to work twice as hard to correct the course.
