If I've learned anything in my whole nineteen years of being a girl, it's that it's way too easy (when it shouldn't be) to compare yourself to another girl. There are so many different types of girls in the world and picking one to compare yourself to is so easy. However, having a boyfriend, there is one girl that I always find myself comparing who I am to: his ex girlfriend.
She's the one before you, the one he even might have "loved," the first hand hold, the first kiss. She is all of the many dates and pictures. She somehow is a lot prettier than you had envisioned, she's smarter, funnier, and built like a goddess. She even has hair that falls the right way every single time. You start to feel so overcome by the fact that you aren't her, you start trying to be. She is everything you are not, but she's always everything he wanted, so you must be her. Right?
I have spent countless nights thinking and racking my brain about how I can be more like her. How I can start to dress like her taste, speak softer because she's a little more quiet than me, listen to her music, and even do the things (I think) she would do. I mean, he did love her, right? Why wouldn't I want to be exactly like her, so that maybe he will love me, too? That sounds crazy, doesn't it? Well, I can say for myself at least, I have thought this way and sometimes I still do. It is truly haunting.
Wrong again, though, you guys. This is so wrong.
In this time of comparison, I've learned something. What if she is looking at me and I don't even know it? What if she's wondering where she went wrong, wondering what she could have done different to make things better between them? Wondering why it's me and not her now? And the other thing, this shouldn't even be a thing at all. Wether you are the new girl or the old girl, you are just a girl. Your own girl. So forgive yourself for wanting to be something you will never be and forgive yourself for being okay with moving on. And lastly, cherish your relationship while it is. Live in it and love in it. Let your partner love you for exactly who you are, for what you want to be, for who you're not.
So to the girl who is comparing herself to the other girl, stop. Stop right now. As my own momma would say to me, "If he didn't love you, he wouldn't be with you." Give yourself a chance. And to the boyfriends (mine) who make their girl feel like they are the only girl in their world. You rock.
Moral of this story: Stop comparing yourself to the other girl, because you are the girl.