Competition. It is everywhere. For men maybe it’s the pressure of one day providing for a family. For women maybe it is the pressure to be a size smaller in your clothes or thrive in a workplace that is, well, dominated by those who see you as a lesser being. With all of this added competition and therefore extra pressure to be successful, it is hard to fight off the one thing everyone says you should avoid: the feeling of jealousy. I am sure we have all heard the term, “Don’t blow out someone else’s candle in order to make yours shine brighter.” When reading that you probably thought, “Obviously. Why can’t we all be happy for one another?” While jealousy is indeed an ugly trait to have, everyone has felt a twinge if not a lump sum of that feeling on several occasions. Does this mean you are a bad person? Absolutely not. From a morality stand point, jealousy is a feeling we all were taught to avoid, right? While that may be true, it is perfectly normal to feel this way in certain situations. The deciphering point is the character you display while feeling envious. Just because someone else’s candle is shining bright does not mean that yours is not beaming, too. Your best friend just got a job interview, your sibling is in a thriving relationship, or maybe someone you were once close to was offered an opportunity that you would have been elated to have, and where do you find yourself? You are happy for them, sure, but you cannot help but to feel jealous. What is your next approach? I have one. Share it and bury it.

The hilarious comedian, Chelsea Handler, spoke on jealousy and encouraged others to share whatever it is that is making you jealous with one person. That is all. Discuss how you are feeling with someone you trust, and do not bring it up again. By telling that one person you have admitted that you gave in to that significant feeling we all recognize as resentment. It is perfectly normal for those feelings to creep in against your own will. However, you should not act on it. The next time you hear that your friend received that dream car that you already test drove, call your sister or your best friend, rant, and be done with it. Besides, your light is beaming, too. After you have come to terms with your jealousy there is something important to remember. This is probably the most important of all. Remember that your light is shining, too. After hearing that those close to us have received entrance into a new internship or cool study abroad program, it is easy forget that things are coming into effect in our lives as well. Timing is everything. Just because someone close to you received good news does not mean that yours is not on its way. Although their light may seem brighter at the moment, do not forget that yours is still glowing as well. The plan for you is in action. The plan that is waiting to unfold is incredible, too. Do not lose sight in that and let that cause you to say something you do not mean, or react in a way that would be a poor representation of who you really are. Your light is beaming, too. Although there are different ways on how to tackle that covetous feeling without acting out of line, remember that you are human.

When we feel jealous over things resulting from pressure, we immediately try to slide it under the rug. In reality, you cannot be blamed for feeling how you feel, yet you are responsible for your actions. I am sure that somewhere in our upbringings we were taught that being jealous is a hideous characteristic, and while that is true, I believe it is how you act on that feeling that truly shows your demeanor. So yes, you should not blow out someone else’s candle to make yours shine brighter. Just please remember that your news is on its way, and your candle is so bright, it is blinding.