Being Jewish has always had a huge place in my heart and so has my youth group, BBYO. That's why it made me feel so amazing that BBYO was promoting a suicide awareness program being held at the local Jewish community center. When I first heard about it, I signed up as fast as I could. I also asked a few of my friends to join me--friends that know about how much the awareness of suicide and mental health meant to me. And it meant the world that they came.

Walking into the program, I didn't know what to expect. I was nervous, honestly. It could have gone extremely well or took a turn for the worst. There's a right way and a wrong way to talk about suicide and there's not an in-between whatsoever. I'm so happy to say that the Jewish Family & Children's Service of Southern New Jersey talked about it the right way. When my friends and I first walked in, we received a card that said "If you know you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, please call...." and listed numbers to call or text in that situation. Surprisingly, one of the numbers was 911, but this is something I learned about later on. On the back of the card, it said "Suicide Warning Signs: Talking about suicide, seeking out lethal means, preoccupation with death, no hope for the future, self-loathing, getting affairs in order, saying goodbye, withdrawing from others, self-destructive behavior." This was so important to me that they handed these cards out, so I hung it right on my fridge when I got home. It's amazing to think that such a small piece of information could save a life.

On every seat in the room, there was a yellow folder (yellow is the color for suicide awareness) with the name of the program "This Life Counts" (or TLC) in big letters. I don't really know if the abbreviation for the program was a coincidence or not, but either way, I thought it was really sweet and welcoming. Inside the folder, there were papers galore. There was one paper that caught my eye, though, and that was the paper titled "Daily Strategies for Coping With Stress". This made me so happy that they were recognizing mental illnesses within the suicide awareness program. There were other papers that had stress management techniques, ideas on how to keep a journal, resources for suicide prevention, and so much more. I was already so pleased before the program actually started.

At the front of the room, there were three psychologists, a police officer, and a student from Temple University. The three psychologists talked about facts about suicide and signs of a suicidal person. I learned that for every youth (ages 10-24) that dies by suicide, 100 attempt it. This shocked me a little because I didn't know how many actual attempts happened. I also took note that suicide is the third leading cause of death in the state of New Jersey, right under homicide. This really scared me. I don't even really want to know the numbers for states bigger than mine. After the psychologists spoke, the police officer stood up to speak. I was a little confused at first when I saw a lot of police officers in the room, but what I learned next put me at a little bit of an ease. The officer went on to tell us that they are trained for mental illness problems when they go to the academy and that you are absolutely allowed to call 911 for any mental health related issue. I never knew that police officers learned about mental health and suicide awareness in order to graduate from the academy. The speaker that definitely blew me away was Drew. Drew is a senior at Temple University in Philadelphia. I'm not going to rewrite his entire story, but he told us that he attempted suicide twice and that his whole family had suffered from some sort of mental illness. He inspired me so much to want to keep telling my story and to maybe telling it in front of a room of people like he does some day. But for now, he inspires me to keep writing about the things I believe in.

After the group presentation, we broke off into a youth discussion group and then the adults stayed in the bigger room. The kids in the room were aged about 10-18. We all went around in a circle and said our names, ages, and our favorite part of the presentation or anything we wanted to share. My friends and I were so shocked at how many young kids said that they had experienced a friend saying they wanted to kill themselves or friends that had actually attempted it. These kids that were saying this were about 11 or 12. This is why we need to raise awareness because the number of youth suicides could potentially rise, as they have for the past 3 years.

It was the best thing in the world to walk into something where so many people care and are willing to spread awareness. I wasn't expecting as many people to be there as there was. It made me feel so happy and amazing that other people in my area are trying to erase the stigma of mental illness (I was also so ecstatic that they kept saying "stop the stigma", by the way). That one presentation could have saved so many lives that night and probably opened eyes for so many people in that room. I hope the JFCS continues to do this program to continue to spread awareness. This showed me that I am not alone in this and people actually do care and do believe in mental health and that are trying to end this horrible stigma. I will never forget that program and how informational and helpful it was. Thank you so much for opening, not only my eyes, but everyone else's around me.