Your Entire Life Decided In Four Years

Your Entire Life Decided In Four Years

Choosing your career isn't as easy as it seems.

Just this weekend I attended yet another graduation. From high school to college, I think this may be a total of five or so now. Each time I go, I sit there and dread how long they will last. Even though the length is terrible, once I look around, I realize what these moments are all about. Each face I see is beaming with joy as they await to hear the name of their loved one being called. As their names are called, everyone screams and shouts in celebration. It is crazy to think that I have already completed one of these myself, and soon enough will be completing a second. Looking around not only gets me excited for this moment to come, but also terrified.

All these people who get receive their diplomas are now essentially set free into the "real" world, expecting to succeed. They have put in their time and effort and it has now paid off. The fact that it will be me on that stage in just a few short years is almost an unsettling feeling. How am I supposed to be ready to take on the "real" world in this amount of time? Currently, I have my major and excel in my courses, but what will this do for me when I can't even say what I want for a job at the end of it? Everyone just expects you to know what job you want, nevertheless your degree. Well, if you don't want to be a doctor, a nurse, a vet or a teacher, where does that put you?

The hardest part about all of it, is how do you narrow your interests down into one specific job? I know personally that I could see myself in any of these positions, it's just a question of what the real career would entail. Is it too much to ask to just be in Sims or something similar to test out all these jobs and see which I like best? Choosing your major is a lot more than it seems to be. You think that no matter what major you choose, you could find a job that will satisfy you. But what happens if I decide I want to be a baker, or a teacher, or even a detective after I already am going in the direction of a different major for a few years? Four years of school is a blessing and a curse-- I do not want to be in school forever, but this really is not an ideal amount of time to decide what the rest of my life will be like.

Even now as I write this, I am still unsure if my degree is what I should be getting. Yes, I love all my classes for my major, but is this leading me to a job I want? How is a college student really supposed to know all the job opportunities there are and how to get there? You just can't, there is no possible way. Whether I like it or not, in three years I will be leaving this college campus and crossing that stage with my classmates. We will all have a degree in variations, all completed course hours, and supposedly a good grip on life, and ready to go out in the world. As I look at things now, it all seems so surreal and distant.

But at the same time, I know time will fly by and it will be all too soon that I will step foot on one side of the stage as an undergraduate, and off the other a graduate with a Bachelor's Degree looking for my next step in life. I know I am not the only one out there who feels this way. What I have to say to that is keep our heads up and look for any signs there are as to what we should do--because what else can we do? In such a short period of time, we will have it all figured out, even as impossible as that seems. Until then, hoping for the best and knowing it will all be solved soon is almost all we can do. It's only going to be determining the rest of our lives, right?

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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For Camille, With Love

To my godmother, my second mom, my rooted confidence, my support


First grade, March. It was my first birthday without my mom. You through a huge party for me, a sleepover with friends from school. It included dress up games and making pizza and Disney trivia. You, along with help from my grandma, threw me the best birthday party a 7-year-old could possibly want.

During elementary school, I carpooled with you and a few of the neighborhood kids. I was always the last one to be dropped off, sometimes you would sneak a donut for me. Living next door to you was a blessing. You helped me with everything. In second grade, you helped me rehearse lines for history day so I could get extra credit. In 4th grade, you helped me build my California mission.

You and your sister came out to my 6th grade "graduation". You bought me balloons and made me feel as if moving onto middle school was the coolest thing in the entire world.

While you moved away from next door, you were a constant in my life. Going to Ruby's Diner for my birthday, seeing movies at the Irvine Spectrum and just hanging out, I saw you all the time. During these times, you told me about all of the silly things you did with my mom and dad, how my mom was your best friend. I couldn't have had a greater godmother.

In middle school, you pushed me to do my best and to enroll in honors. You helped me through puberty and the awkward stages of being a woman.

Every single time I saw you, it would light up my entire day, my week. You were more than my godmother, you were my second mom. You understood things that my grandma didn't.

When you married John, you included me in your wedding. I still have that picture of you, Jessica, Aaron and myself on my wall at college. I was so happy for you.

Freshmen year of high school, you told me to do my best. I did my best because of you. When my grandma passed away that year, your shoulder was the one I wanted to cry on.

You were there when I needed to escape home. You understood me when I thought no one would. You helped me learn to drive, letting me drive all the way from San Clemente to Orange.

When I was applying to colleges, you encouraged me to spread my wings and fly. You told me I should explore, get out of California. I wanted to study in London, you told me to do it. That's why, when I study abroad this Spring in London, I will do it for you.

When I had gotten into UWT, you told me to go there. I did and here I am, succeeding and living my best in Tacoma. I do it for you, because of you.

When I graduated high school and I was able to deliver a speech during our baccalaureate, you cheered me on. You recorded it for me, so I could show people who weren't able to make it to the ceremony. You were one of the few people able to come to my actual graduation. You helped me celebrate the accomplishments and awards from my hard work.

When your cancer came back, I was so worried. I was afraid for you, I was afraid of what I would do without the support you had always given me. When I was in Rome, I went to the Vatican and had gotten a Cross with a purple gem in the middle blessed by the Pope to help you with your treatments. It was something from me and a little bit of my mom in the necklace, the gem.

Now, sitting so far from you away at college just like you wanted me to. I miss you. I wish I was there to say goodbye.

I'll travel the world for you, write lots of stories and books for you, I will live life to the fullest for you.

You are another angel taken too early in life. Please say hello to my parents and grandma in Heaven for me.

Lots of love,


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