I get up every morning to sunshine and often the skies are blue and cloudless. I'm a quick drive to the beach, I'm never freezing cold, and I have so many good people in my life. I have incredible friends all around me, the opportunity to play my sport for my school, and access to an outstanding education. I'm beyond happy and beyond thankful for where life has taken me in the last year, and because of that, I have thought back to the end of my senior year of high school and how I got here- my decision, the work that went into it, and above all else, the reactions from the people in my life when I chose San Diego State.
Choosing this school was never something I, at say, 14 years old, would have imagined. I always wanted to go to a big Ivy League school. But then comes the reality check that getting into an Ivy League means having grades so good you probably don't eat or sleep, and I decided I was okay with being a balanced human being who got into a more "normal" school. Now that I'm at San Diego State, I regret nothing about my decision and I could not be happier.
But when it came down to decision day, which was National Signing Day for myself and other athletes (earlier than other students made their decision), I received so many mixed opinions about my choice from the people in my life. After hours of training, calling coaches, finding my way into rowing programs around the country and hoping they'd give my a chance to contribute to their legacy, I was so excited to be able to say I was committing to a school in a beautiful place, with D1 athletics, a major unique to the state of California that I was planning to enroll with, and that was my mom's alma mater. What could be better?
I guess a lot of things, for a lot of people.
On signing day, someone I considered my best friend at the time scoffed at me and muttered, "state school," when I saw him while I was wearing all of my SDSU gear and getting ready to sign my contract at our school ceremony.
At work, I was asked time and time again if I chose my school for the "social aspect," as if I was picking a place to live for 4 years based on the party school reputation SDSU tends to have.
Leading up to my decision, the pressure of my extended family for me to reveal colleges I was looking into and to look into big name schools became so extensive that my immediate family didn't tell them where I was signing until the ceremony was over and it was a done deal.
Thanksgiving was spent with relatives not entirely kindly and with consideration of my stress but forcefully asking question after question about my choices and plans for the following year.
And when all of my friends and I had decided on our schools and plans, there was still the one annoying kid who wanted to find any possible way to criticize our choices and seemed to hate on each of our schools. It made many of us really upset.
To all of these people who questioned me and questioned my friends and classmates, I just laugh. A lot. Because here's what happened for all of us, no doubt about it- we either found exactly where we wanted to be in the world, found happiness, and are having the best adventure ever, or we're still searching and finding what fits right for our lives (a new school, a job, community college, etc.). We either found our fit or we learned from the process, and whichever happened, we're all doing great and finding our way.
I can't stand the questioning and bothering of college-bound kids or kids with future plans other than college. I can't stand when people think I chose a state school for the partying or that my school isn't good enough. I can't stand when my friends get criticized for choosing colleges that are unique and incredible. And I can't stand the fact that this happens year after year and that someone is probably experiencing exactly what I did right now.
Whenever you talk to a kid who's about to graduate high school, open your mind, listen intently, and congratulate them on their hard work. This is not a place for judgement.
I want every student graduating high school in the next few months to know a few things. First, your plans are valuable. Your life is your life, own it and love it. Whether you're taking time off, attending a 4-year university, going to a JC, travelling, or working, you're making your way in the world and that is awesome- incredible, even. Secondly, when you make that choice, don't let anyone discount it. Ignore the interrogations, rude comments and unnecessary questioning. Take pride in your choice and you'll be so happy when you get started in that next chapter. And lastly, know that wherever you go is your business, your life, your future, and no one else deserves a say in that.
I think there is so much pressure on students these days. When it comes time to make this decision, it's so hard to hear negative things from family and friends. I remember being so hurt by things people said when I made my decision. But now I'm happier than I have ever been, so it doesn't matter. I hope every graduate of the class of 2017 can find the strength to own their decision- because they're all phenomenal.