It was recently graduation season for all of the local high schools in my area. Every time I went into town or out to dinner there were families or groups of friends out celebrating the latest accomplishment in their young lives, hopefully the first of many.

But I noticed something different about these recent graduates. The girls were wearing ridiculous high heels and pumps, faces caked on with makeup, and dresses or outfits exposing or accentuating their most “feminine” attributes. The young boys I saw were of course all done up in their suits but really didn’t seem to have a care. The girls, however, were so focused on getting the perfect picture, sorority squatting, and the phrase “can you see my boobs?” or “how does my butt look?” was heard many times. But the most disturbing comment came from a young graduate sitting with her friends at the table across from mine. Her friends commented how nice her, in my opinion very tight and over exposing, romper looked on her. To which she replied “Yeah it’s not normally my style but I know the boys will appreciate it." A young girl who had just graduated high school and had so much of her life to look forward to and prepare for, was already in the mindset that she had to be an object for these boys.

Now to say I’ve never worn a crop top, or a tight dress, or a mini skirt and heels would be a lie. As much as I wasn’t a fan of what so many of these young girls were wearing just because I didn’t find it age appropriate, I was more disturbed by the reasons they dressed that way. That young girl wasn’t comfortable, but she did it for the approval of men, really boys. In fact hearing that girl speak like that actually made my heart break a little. I think back to my high school years and it was painful. Now Instagram and Snapchat and the need for likes really didn’t come around until my junior or senior year. But I remember still feeling like I could never leave the house, even for 10 minutes, without fully showering, doing my hair, and picking out whatever attractive outfit I could scramble up (I wasn’t about make-up because I sucked at it). All this for hoping I could get just a glance from some guy, some validation. As senior year rolled in I hit a point where I thought “Why do I care?” I’ll never see these people again and frankly, they don’t matter.

And once I got to college it dawned on me even more. I wore these crop tops and dresses not because I thought these guys would appreciate them, but because when I looked in the mirror I couldn’t help but smile at how finally happy with myself I was. I started a workout routine and ate healthy for me and not for some guy. And to hear this young girl talk in such a manner, I couldn’t help but ask, why?

Why do you feel the need to over expose yourself for some random guy or just a simple push of a heart shaped button? These girls with such beautiful bodies, why would you not make a guy work every second of his life just to get a peek of it ? Instead you give it all away in a 3 second Snapchat. Why cover your beautiful face with powder and lines instead of someone appreciating every freckle and every mark you were born with, that your mother spent 9 months crafting for you? Why be appreciated for the size of your butt rather than the hours you spend every week crafting the body you want? Why spend time tantalizing them rather than explaining how you hope to be a future CEO, or a teacher, or a police officer, or hope to change the world? Why not wear the outfit that you feel good in rather than forcing yourself into the shortest and thinnest outfit you can find all to be diminished to a pound of flesh rather than a person? Why are you so quick to have your heart broken and your self-worth dragged out along with it?

Young women, don’t grow up so fast. Enjoy the days of sweatpants and t-shirts rather than cheap dresses and painful heels. Smile at the mornings where its your parents calling you down for breakfast rather than a stranger in your bed. Enjoy the brunch with your friends talking about your future college rather than spending a morning hung over, throwing up, and wasting the day away. Smile when the real men in your life call you beautiful and kind rather than the boy who only Snapchats or texts you at 1 a.m. when he’s lonely.

I can promise you, because I saw it happen to myself. The world is quick to make you change yourself, give up who you are, and make you feel as though you are working for others and not yourself, especially for young girls and women. The world is not tailoring itself to promote young successful women, brave and strong, those that will be changing the world. But you can fix that. Enjoy the care free times when society can’t attempt to stab you in the back. But when it does, and it will stab you. Pull out that knife, stitch up the wound, and embrace the scar. That scar on your back is important because it will serve as a reminder of how you must never return to that version of what society wants. But always remember why it is behind your field of view. It is because you must always move forward.