I was that 16 year old girl that promised everyone around me that my brother and I would actually never be close. We hardly saw eye-to-eye, and if I'm being completely honest with him and myself, I told on him for practically everything he did. Not only because I was the older sibling, but because I was always worried he'd get hurt. I looked out for him in a way he couldn't understand, and I think because of that our relationship drastically suffered. The sentence: "You'll miss him when you're both living apart", seemed like a reoccurring sentence frequently told to me by everyone close to the two of us.
I never imagined I'd be wrong about it. I just thought my brother and I were two people who didn't have a lot in common, fought entirely too much, and would never be on the same page when it came to everyday life.
Until we finally lived apart, I continued thinking this.
I'm not someone who finds comfort in being around people. It takes a lot for me to finally feel at ease with someone else, and I never sought to change that. I am an introverted person who finds joy in sitting on the couch watching Impractical Jokers every night before I go to bed, (in my sweats with my hair up). This is just who I am, and not once has anyone managed to come into my life and convinced me to think otherwise. You could say that the people I'm closest to, also enjoy watching T.V. in the comfiest of clothes, and laughing too much at the expense of other people. When it fits, it just kind of fits, and who am I to mess up that flow..or even want to?
This summer was the first (of hopefully many) that I became extremely close to my younger brother. When I tell you that he is my best friend, please believe I don't use this phrase lightly. In fact, I very seldom use it at all. David became my best friend before I even got a chance to notice how much we both have changed over the years, and I don't know what's better..becoming close to someone you never imagined being close to, or not wanting any moment to ever end because you're enjoying yourself so much.
My brother was a freshman this past year in College. It was the first time we didn't live together, and I can honestly say the transition wasn't the difficult part. There were little things I loved, like never walking in to pee to find myself stuck in the toilet from a seat that wasn't put down (after asking 10+ times to try and remember) Or how the hot water lasted me an hour now, instead of 15 minutes. I don't think it hit me for awhile that how things were in that moment, would actually never be the same again. As you get older, things change so suddenly that you start to forget how they once were-without even trying to.
It was when he finally moved back when I realized those little things were parts of my life I actually missed without knowing.
And when you start to see that things won't ever be able to go back to how they once were, you start to treasure them more and more.
The time I spent with my brother use to be kept to a minimum. That was until this summer when we now spend every day together. We stay up late talking on the porch about things we use to do as kids. We reminisce about the time our parent's yelled so much they lost their voice. We laughed so hard we almost cried, when thinking about my brother's "spanking" he was going to get from my dad, and how I made him put on 30 pairs of underwear so the sting wouldn't hurt so bad.
The memories you make with your sibling over the years, can never be remade with anyone else. No one will ever understand your childhood quite like them, and when I finally realized that, the closer to him I felt.
He's the only person who actually knows when I'm at my breaking point. He has seen me at my worst, but still protects me in every way he possibly can, and that feeling is such a special one.
Some people aren't lucky enough to have a best friend at all. That type of connection is deep and pure.
I think of myself as an even luckier person to know that my best friend is my brother, and I hope so many people out there are blessed enough to say the same.
Sometimes I think back on the years we spent together and wished that we could have had the kind of relationship we have now, then. If I could've known then what I do now, I may not have believed it. It's almost crazy how life has this funny way of surprising you. All this time I thought my brother and I were complete opposites who could never be on the same page, and yet here we are, years later, writing our own.