If you're anything like me, you, at least once, have kicked yourself for "letting yourself get hurt," or "not seeing it sooner." For you, hindsight is a blessing and a curse - you're happy that it's there, but you repetitively find yourself realizing that you never quite apply it to the next time, whatever "the next time" is for you. For me, and maybe you, too, it's trusting people too easily and too soon, which then results in pain. It's letting people into the more personal and vulnerable parts of yourself.
It seems all too contradictory of us to actively expose the parts of ourselves that we seek to protect. Our hearts, compassion, and ease of mind are all assets that, when in the wrong hands, can be manipulated and overwhelmed. However, I can assure you that people like you and I are not contradictory in our behavior. No. Rather, we are that much more assured of ourselves as a result of this connection between heart and head. We do not make our hearts and souls susceptible to pain because we do not care about them, but because we know the value of our feelings, and will go to higher and faster stakes to feel this way.
Allow me to preface before I begin preach and testify. I want to be the first person to tell you that even I, to this day, find discomfort in my inability to build an "emotional barrier" around myself, if you will. As someone who is very driven by emotion and matters of the heart, love and happiness are pursuits that I will chase by testing the waters with both feet at once. But more often than not, my conviction has also led to my demise in these endeavors. I don't listen to the hindsight that very clearly shows me where I made mistakes, nor the consistent advice of my peers to slow down and be a bit more cautious, for the safety of my heart. Nope. Not me. My heart knows what it wants and what it needs and for people like you and I the chase is half of the excitement and fulfillment of those needs, even when we know it can end painfully.
Betrayal is a very moving, influential, and cornering attack. It reminds us that we really don't know something or someone as well as we thought we did. It reminds us that negativity can not only exist with all that is positive but can be quite intertwined with it as well. If you ask most people, they will tell you that betrayal has made them more cautious of who they talk to and who they open themselves up to, the reason being because they thought they wouldn't get hurt in the past, and were blindsided when they were. So what separates you and I from those many others? Why do we not follow that same path? At times, it seems like you and I are not only letting people in to see who we are, but we are guiding them to it by the wrist.
Evidently, I cannot speak for every last person that is reading this and finds themselves relating to this topic. I can, though, speak for myself, and say it with the attachment that I have found my case to be the same for others in my travels and experience.
A large reason why I trust so easily and let people in is rooted in a desire for the feeling of adequacy. As those who are so in tune with emotions and the damage we have undergone, the feeling of making those connections and relationships not only feels comforting, but it feels necessary. Personally, I have issues with self-image, rejection, and loneliness. The damage that has come with those struggles has left me yearning to fill those holes, and relating with people who have been on a similar path. People like you and I find our happiness in the happiness of others, and that drives us to reveal ourselves to others as a way of connecting and relating, even if the access to our inner selves comes back to haunt us. Trust is correlative with love, and for many, it is a way of showing others that we are willing to take risks and put ourselves out there for them. Sometimes, confiding in people comforts them as much as it does us because it makes them feel like they are worth that security. It is important to remember that hesitancy to trust can be cautious and wise, but can also sometimes be a result of trauma and fear. So when you or I come along and make the first move in creating those connections, you don't know if the recipient of your trust needed that assurance and confidence to be able to open up themselves.
In certain cases, it is about belonging, and being a part of societal normality. We often view our counterparts who have found love, or family, or whatever it is they are seeking and it makes us yearn for it that much more, so we can say we have found love like most everyone else. But where we change paths from our counterparts is the way we go about acquiring these relationships for ourselves. When these emotions receive such a high value on our personal lists of needs, those similar to you and I will try very hard to achieve those feelings, and consequently, blindfold ourselves to the danger that comes with that pursuit. We see the good in people and view our fellow humans as creatures of good intent, which eliminates our value for perception of danger and personal pain.
If you trust people easily, you are not flawed. The invitation you give to people to come and view the things that makes you who you are is not a mistake, nor is it something you need to learn to stop. For us, betrayal is painful, but will not set us back from taking our slice of life.Our value for emotion is not tarnished by damage, but it is magnified as a result of knowing what it feels like to be without love and happiness. Our trust and time is an investment and an investment that holds high risk. But, like most investments, the ones that hold the most risk also yield the highest reward.
Go from saying you "trust too easily," to letting people know that you "trust easily."