I apologize for any Iowa winter inaccuracy, I have not lived in Iowa for nearly five years now and you know..global warming and stuff. Winters may not be exactly the same.
1. Your garage or back porch serves as an outdoor fridge
Every family party we had, drinks were always in the garage or out back.
2. More snow means less mud
Dog owners will appreciate this. Your pup may be covered in snow flakes, but at least that is simply frozen water and not mud. Like i am dealing with here in Missouri, where it just rains and gets cold so my dog is wet and muddy and we are both irritated.
3. Snow Days are actually snow-filled days
Here in Southwest Missouri I'm all for class being cancelled but like if there is no snow or ice, please dont waste my time?? At least in Iowa, snow days are actual snow days. where you had better hit the grocery store before being stuck in your home till the streets are cleared.
4. Dry Skin. Dry Hair. Dry Everything.
So much lotion, so much chapstick, yet still the cold will dry out my skin and leave me cracked and sad.
5. Your morning routine revolves around defrosting your window & warming up the car
You need to wake up like fifteen minutes early when you park your car outside. Turn it on, scrape the window, run inside and proceed to get ready for the day.
6. Odds are your dad has taught you a thing or two about car control while driving in bad winter conditions
Snow day? You mean driving lessons in an un-plowed parking lot? Turn into the fishtail, pump the brakes.
7. Accurately gauging the temp: Take the outside temp and subtract 30.
You may be thinking "what, why?" The wind! You have to take in account those Midwest winds, duh. The kind of wind that makes your car swerve a little when it gusts across the road.
8. Clearing your driveway too early into a snowfall and wasting all your effort because you just have to clear again when it finally stops snowing
I have done this before. You start shoveling the driveway because you know dad will ask you to later, and your out there while flakes are still falling. Two hours after you finish it will look like you never touched it!
9. Winter Emergency Car Kit
It can be a little scary having to drive through snowy or icey conditions. It's good to keep a blanket, gloves, hat, scarf, flash-light somewhere in the car just in case. The last thing you want to be is slid off in a ditch with a totaled car and nothing to stay warm.
10. Having a friend with a snow plow attachment to their truck is the ULTIMATE connection
Why shovel your driveway when you can pay a pal in beer to clear it for you? Iowa currency = Busch Light
11. The entry way to your home is trashed during snowy months
Salt, melted snow, mud, and everything else that gets tracked in with snow boots. the floors by your front door are just a lost hope until these snowy months are over.
12. Shoveling part of your yard so the dog doesn't go potty on the porch or driveway
Especialy with smaller dogs, unless you want them going potty on the porch, it is necessary to clear some snow off the grass for their little legs to go about doing their business.
13. Wearing multiple pairs of pants, socks, and gloves, just to go play in the snow
Now that I'm older it confuses me how much joy was brought from sledding that ended with snow in your pants and your fingers being numb.
14. You probably have at least one injury story of slipping on ice at some point
My earliest memory is from when I was in kindergarten, I remember walking into school with my mom and slipping on the ice in the parking lot. Totally busted open my knee.
15. Losing power in winter conditions is like starring in your own apocalypse thriller
Is my phone going to die? Will the house stay warm enough? Will we freeze to death before the power returns?
16. The swarm of people at the grocery stores before a big storm
It sucks but you have to endure it. There mass of people are all here for the same reason. Know the layout of your store, make a game plan, and get in and get out.
17. Ironically, the big snow storms always arrive on Friday. Just to ruin the weekend
Maybe it's some type of worldwide karma, but storms seem to always roll in Friday evening, so you cant cancel school but you have to cancel plans. Thanks for that Mother Nature.
