It's been over a year since everything happened... When everything went from perfectly good to tragically bad.

Although I could care less about what happened, it's in the past now anyway. There's no point in bringing the past back up. I still lay in bed at night wondering what would've happened if you were better to me; if your friends and family were more understanding. What would we have turned out to be in the end? Would we have that happily ever after I always dreamed of? The one you said you were always going to give me? Today I’d say no, I’m not a princess, this isn’t a fairy tale, and you were in no way Prince Charming. Back then, however, I would’ve said yes - you could take me away anywhere and I would follow.

It’s not just you that keeps me up at night, it’s the thought of you.

The thoughts and experiences I went through and how you treated me all throughout our relationship. There will always be something that you will never seem to accept about yourself and how you treat others. Myself and others have tried many times to tell you how selfish you are and how you fail to treat others with the respect you want in return. You don’t get the respect you want and in my mind you don’t deserve it anyway.

The thought of you seems to haunt me like your ghost. Almost like you're still there right next to me to remind me of what happened.

This is what keeps me up. It feels like you’re still right next to me... Telling me to stop being annoying or needy; to stop texting you and wanting to see you once a week... That you’re there to remind me that I’m nothing. I’m the woman and you’re the man so you’re in charge and I just listen to you. This is all that keeps me up at 3 AM all these thoughts about you and how you affected my life. I know I’ve gotten over some of the things you’ve done to me and I now know that I will eventually get over you all together. But, some things take time, and you never understood what that was anyway.

For now, I’ll stay awake at night thinking about what we could’ve been but thanking God that were no longer together.