John Mulaney made a joke about how “we never really know our fathers” during his Kid Gorgeous tour, and this quote has stuck with me since I saw him at Playhouse Square in the middle of March.

Along with this, Mother’s Day was earlier this month, and I found myself looking back on moments with my parents, my mom specifically.

I was in the car with my mom the other day, and as we were talking I had a small realization; I have spent my entire life with my mom, but I feel like I still really don’t know her sometimes.

We were listening to a song from the 70s, she was born in 1967, and it was the first time that I fully realized that she grew up during that time. I had always thought of my parents growing up in the 80s, which is true, but I neglected the existence of a whole decade of my mother’s life.

I asked her if she was aware of the major political and social events that were going on in that era, and she said for the most part, yes. It was weird to talk to her about this because when we discuss her past it’s usually a conversation about the 80s.

I hated this feeling. For a minute it dawned on me that I really do not know as much about my parents as I think I do. I felt, for the first time in a while, like I was a stranger looking in from the outside.

My mom is a dedicated, hard-working woman who has taught me so much. I have asked about what her life was like when she was my age because I am genuinely curious, but I will never really know.

She has told me stories, or different facts about what her life was like, but I will never know what she was thinking or feeling growing up. I realized that I am seeing the person who she has become as a result of so many experiences and choices that I will never know about or fully understand.

I think that’s the thing about being a child versus being a parent; parents know about most of the experiences that shape their children, but they still don’t understand them.

Children, on the other hand, only see the end result of several decades of life, and they don’t understand their parents either.

It’s funny how you can spend literally your entire life with someone and still not know so much about them.

There’s always this huge generational gap that I feel like we’re constantly trying to overcome. Either way, I intend to learn as much as I can from my parents, even if I don’t fully understand who they have become over the course of their lives.