You Might Be An English Major If...
Start writing a post

You Might Be An English Major If...

You proudly relate to any of these truths

You Might Be An English Major If...

1. You go to a professor’s office for help on an assignment but quote Shakespeare for an hour instead.

2. Your parents have ever questioned your choice in career.

3. You have read John Milton’s Paradise Lost in its entirety.

4. You can fluently use the Dewy Decimal System.

5. You have heard the phrase, "So, you want to be a teacher?" more times than you can count.

6. Your summer goal is to finish more than one book.

7. You own at least one Norton Anthology.

8. The Starbucks barista knows your name and drink.

9. You prefer books over movies.

10. You have ever explained that a degree in English is actually useful.

11. You have a chair in the library that others know not to sit in.

12. You understand the purpose of the Oxford Comma and advocate for its use.

13. You have ever owned a leather messenger bag.

14. You listen to audiobooks while driving, showering, and falling asleep.

15. You point-out literature references in pop culture to your friends.

16. You cannot help but smell a new book.

17. You recall the past in literature movements, not in decades or years.

18. The wrong use of their, there, or they’re makes you cringe.

19. You have ever missed a meal because you were almost done with the chapter.

20. The only math you do is subtracting to determine how many pages you have left.

21. You prefer physical books rather than electronic books.

22. The library is where you relax, not a place you force yourself to go to.

23. You ever ran out of sticky notes as bookmarks.

24. You find yourself analyzing others’ motives as if they are a character from a book.

25. You forgot how to take a multiple choice test but can write a 20-page paper with ease.

26. Your friends ask you to revise their research papers.

27. Antique books excite you.

28. You find mistakes in SparkNotes and Shmoop.

29. You can think of a poem to describe any moment.

30. Your friends know not to bother you if you are in the library.

31. Reading in old-English is easier than understanding street slang.

32. People often mistake you for the librarian, but you help them find the book anyways.

“But why," he said with animation, "do the English not read their own great literature?" Victor laughed triumphantly, and said, "Because at school they are made to hate it.”
― Olaf Stapledon, A Man Divided

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Sunset Girl

The sun rose and peeked through the sheer curtains. Rose’s alarm shrieked. The loud bells caused her phone to jump on the side table. It was time for her to get ready for church. Blindly reaching for her phone, she shut the alarm off and pulled at the covers providing her a cocoon of warmth and tossed them to the side. She swept her bare feet across the bed to touch the cool wooden floor.

Rose softly tiptoed to the corner of the bedroom to grab her clothes dangling on the arm of the bedroom chair. Scooping all of the items of her chosen outfit, she headed to the bathroom hoping that she wouldn’t drop anything.

Round, piercing blue eyes stared back at her in the bathroom mirror. Rose fingered the wrinkles forming around her eyes. So many of them bore signs of laughter and smiling. Slowly dropping her hands, she couldn’t remember the last time she laughed in her home with Tom. Shaking her head as if to erase the negative thoughts, she reached for her makeup bag and went through her regular routine.

Applying her favorite deep rose lipstick, Rose headed downstairs to make her coffee and bagel to take with her to church. The smell of dark-roast coffee swirled in the air as Rose sliced her cinnamon raisin bagel. Hearing the Keurig sputter with the fresh brew, Rose found the interruption of the stillness comforting. The toaster signaled that her bagel was done with a soft pop. It had a delicious golden brown color. Placing the bagel on the counter, she generously spread honey nut flavored cream cheese across both halves. Gathering her bible, notebook, and pens from the side table on the porch she stuffed them into her purse. Purse hanging on her right shoulder she juggled her coffee and bagel in both of her hands as she headed to the garage.

Keep Reading... Show less

This Holiday Season, Choose To Be Eco-friendly And Reduce Pollution

Many of us have old magazines lying around, fully read and not of much use anymore. However, we can use their bright colors and prints as a stylish and trendy wrapping paper!


It can be overwhelming to see the detrimental effects of climate change and pollution on the news, from animals dying and forest fires spreading, but there are smaller changes that we can all make to reduce our carbon footprint, and it begins with our gifting season.

On average, Americans throw 25% more trash between Thanksgiving and New Years, which translates to 25 million tons of garbage. That's 1 million extra tons per week.

Keep Reading... Show less

This Feeling Hurts

A Poem on Love

Ronny Salerno

This feeling hurts. I must declare

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

After all, isn't it the season of drinking...?

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

Thanksgiving has officially ended which means we are in preparation for the final holidays of the year. December is a busy month, filled with shopping and sales, wrapping gifts, planning family gathering and parties, cooking and baking, holiday movies, and of course, lots of drinking. I know that I will be spending a lot of December watching the ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas,

Keep Reading... Show less

Planning Another Christmas Party

Don't just plan another plain party but get creative to have everyone wanting to come back next year!

Getty Famous

You know it's Christmas when the radio stations change to all of your favorite holiday tunes, the air is still, and stores have the best sales. With all my favorite things from Christmas happening my least favorite probably has to be when I have to go to another same old boring Christmas party that I get invited to every year. Here are some Christmas party ideas so that you won't have another sad Christmas party.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments