Sometimes it is difficult to tell whether or not your significant other is abusive or has the possibility to become abusive. Here are a few signs that are major red flags. If you're in a new relationship, please pay attention to these signs. If you've been in a relationship for a while and you notice your significant other becoming abusive, I hope you have the strength and courage to leave.
He tells you what you can and can't do.
You have to be home at a certain time (even if you two don't live together). He doesn't want you going out with your friends because you might be drinking. He acts like he wants to control this part of your life in order to keep you safe, but in reality it's because he wants to use his insecurities to control you.
He becomes aggressive at the mention or sight of another man in your life.
He continuously accuses you of cheating on him. He attempts to isolate you from every man in your life. He then tries to make his anger, jealous and envy seem charming. He's only jealous because he "loves" you. That's not love. You should not have to give up the people that you love because of him.
He gets mad when you're "too busy" for him.
He expects you to change your plans for him. Whether they be your educational plans or your weekend plans. He wants you to spend every moment with him and when you don't there's an argument.
Being with him is more mentally exhausting than pleasing.
You worry about what he's going to tell you. You worry about the fights you two will get into. You worry about what you do, wear, or say. You might love him and think that this is normal, but I promise you- it isn't.
He doesn't keep his promises.
He "promises" that he won't get that angry anymore... that he won't overreact anymore... that he won't keep acting like this. Just when you think that maybe, just maybe, things have gotten better, he shows his dark side again.
He tests the waters much too often.
He often attempts to break up with you or threatens to do so. He might even "pretend" to hit you every so often. He tests your limit so often it makes you uncomfortable. When you try and end things, he begs you not to leave. He pleads with you, bargains and again makes another empty promise.
What I want you to remember most of all is that abuse is not just physical. He doesn't have to hit you to break you. His words and actions can be just as destructive.
I know it may not be easy to leave, but if you notice any of these in your significant other, I want you to run- run as fast as you can. You deserve so much better.