You Don't Have To Come Out Of The Closet

This article may come as a shock to some as I still haven't come out to everyone in my life yet, but I need to get this off my chest.

If you're queer in any way, you don't owe anyone that information or piece of your life.

For some people, coming out might mean freedom and liberation, however for some, it is just not what we want to do.

I've never truly been a very open person.

I came out to my mom in 2018 watching a One Day at a Time episode, she reacted in the same way in which I told her the news; nonchalantly.

My mother said she loved me because I was her kid, that's all that mattered, she'd always love me, truly unconditionally as every parent should.

That is the only family member I have come out to though, she's the only person I really wanted to tell, I won't be telling any other family member directly, or ever, if they don't happen on this page - and that's what I'm comfortable with.

I'm lucky to have an open-minded mom, because not everyone in my family is like that.

We're from Ghana where stuff like this isn't too common, we also just don't talk about stuff like this a lot - it's best to just keep them in the dark.

I am, however, out to my friends.

I had told a few of them in passing. Through my writing, I think you'll come to learn that I tend to be blunt and straightforward about things like this.

Why beat around the bush with straightforward topics? Most of the time it just comes up when we're talking about sexuality in general, I just say, "So I'm bi," and they say okay and we move on.

It's the response I want, very calm and understanding, like it's normal.

I tend to hate the intrusive questions. How long have you known? Do you like me? Have you been with a girl? Who do you lean more towards?

None of these are anyone's business, they just make me regret telling them in the first place.

We don't ask straight people if they've been with the opposite sex to validate their sexuality, it's weird. Making queer people feel different or making a huge deal of it can make some of us uncomfortable.

Now, if you're queer and want to come out, more power to you! However, if it isn't comfortable for you, don't force it.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for who you are, EVER.

No one is obligated to know very personal information about you, so only come out if you want to.

I hope for those that do, you're in a safe and comfortable place with enough love - I support you no matter what, and coming out will always be a truly powerful thing.

For those that don't, the power is also in you; you get to decide what to do with that knowledge.

Don't let anyone force you out of the closet, and if someone does, because in this world it's a sad thing that is often weaponized, I hope you find peace.

I hope that someday we'll have normalized everyone being authentically themselves without any stigma.

As unlikely as it is, I'm hopeful.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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