I believe every college-aged girl should know how to be independent. I’m not saying don’t date in college or anything like that, because come on, that’s unrealistic. I just encourage the stage of independence where you can find who you are. You can be both independent and in a relationship. It’s just up to you whether you want to take control or have someone else lead your life. I’m not saying all guys are controlling, because that is not true. But you can easily use a boyfriend to make excuses for not stepping out of your comfort zone in life. So often these days you see girls settling for guys because they are afraid of being alone, and it really affects them later in life.
This is not a time to base your life decisions on what anyone else wants. This is a time to figure out your career, your real goals in life. It is the transformation era into the scary adulthood. If we, as women, let our decisions be based off of what a guy (who may not even be around next month) wants, huge problems arise. No this isn’t supposed to be an article about my feminist views, but with that being said, college is a time to empower yourself. It’s a time to take yourself on dates, and buy that cute dress, because why not? It may sound like I am bashing relationships or anything of the sort, but I promise you I am not.
If you have a guy that loves you for you, don’t let him go. Boyfriends are great support systems in tough times. But never forget to care about yourself too. Are you happy? Are you making decisions that you’d be happy with even if you didn’t have him? This time in your life is meant to do whatever you want, be spontaneous. It’s all about you right now. Make decisions based on your future goals. If you want to travel, do it. If your boyfriend loves you, he isn’t going stop you from doing what you want in life. Being independent is a step in accepting yourself for who you are. It’s about learning to be OK with your flaws, and knowing that you are human, just like everyone else. We all have things we are insecure about, and if you constantly rely on others’ approval, you’ll be broken if it isn’t there. Your 20's are a time to learn the only approval you need is yours.