You Can't Make It On Your Own And That's OK
Start writing a post

You Can't Make It On Your Own And That's OK

"Above all else, guard your heart." – Proverbs 4:23

You Can't Make It On Your Own And That's OK
Julian Cider Works

We as young people are in a dangerous time of our lives. We are equipped with the belief that we are invincible. Us millennials so desperately want to carry ourselves on our own. Independence is the most sought after idea for us, seeing as how we are “adults” after turning 18. We want everything that we can get, and we want to be well-liked and appreciated. Ambition is great, if used in moderation. Work hard, get good grades, and go for your goals.

You then realize that all of your hard work, just after you have gained recognition and praise for it will dissolve like wind. Your heart will harden, and you will either twice as hard to get this attention back or resist all help in getting back on track. For instance, you’ve worked on a project all semester to struggle and pull all-nighters and practically live in the library. Then that one night comes when you type the last word and send it in five minutes before midnight. You did it. You text your roommates and best friend, who are less caring than you thought. You present your topic the next day in class and receive a B+. Are you serious? I worked so hard… That’s it; it’s time for revenge. You are faced with the choices of either hard-heading your way through the rest of the semester and appearing a show-off or withdrawing into the dusty library shelves and letting your grades drop, letting your professor and friends wonder what’s wrong with you. Either option will consume you in filthy pride that can easily be disguised as stress or worry or anger.

Friends, this is so dangerous.

There will come a time when this is the easiest option: to believe that you have either failed so hard that you can’t trust yourself or vice versa. Realize that this pride can only carry you so far. Open your eyes and look up.

Stubbornness and pride are two very painful sins that I have dealt with since I could remember. My walk in faith has struggled from it. I was at a point not long after I turned 18 that I wanted to be on my very own. I couldn’t wait to get out of community college and go to university. Consequently, my youth deceived me; I was too naive and inexperienced in the “real world” to believe I had a place in a community of people with immense street smarts. I wish that I would have kept Psalm 118:8 in handy, knowing that “it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

I felt like a wildflower in a field of mangled weeds. I wanted so bad to be rugged and appear like I knew what I was doing; so I asked those around me for help, only to reach dead ends with these people and keep pushing until I burned bridge after bridge. Proverbs 12:26 confirms that ”the righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

It was a scary time. I felt alone. I was scared, hurt on the outside and inside, looking for refuge. I knew better than to let myself dig into a deep hole of doubt and pride, yet I thought I could endure the worst. I spent an entire year straying from the Lord, and I have transferred schools and jobs because of it.

After spending maybe six months dabbling in deceitful self-reliance, I was so damaged. I wanted nothing more than to leave that school and start fresh. In retrospect, Matthew 11:28 lets me understand that I should have sought my refuge in the Lord. I carried a very heavy burden on my shoulders that I shouldn’t have had to bear alone, if at all. My shameful stubbornness kept me from loving and growing. This bitter past is still hard to recover from. Proverbs 28:26 is a heavy dose of truth, stating that “those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.” The most confusing yet hopeful verse for me to work on is Hebrews 10:14, explaining that when Jesus took our burdens and shame and sinfulness to the cross on his own back, the holy father looked upon his earthly children in awe; He holds us in the same regard as His holy son, Jesus Christ. As we confess our sins and ask for forgiveness, our walk with Christ is the process of us “being made holy.”

I was able to reflect on the previous passage by joining a mentorship discipleship program, which helped me create relationships with upperclassmen. Participating in musical productions and finding companionship within my close-knit degree program of music education helped me understand that I can find community that is deep-rooted in the Gospel. DBU is a powerful epicenter for Christ, “for where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20).

God placed me in communities where I could have never imagined myself to even walk past. As I allowed myself to break out of my comfort zone, I found friendships in the most unique, tender-hearted, godly people. I have been able to confide in a few upperclassmen that I came to DBU feeling so inadequate and out of place; I felt filthy. They helped me understand that we are all filthy; humans are not perfect. We can never be Jesus, but “those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed” (Psalm 34:5 ESV). While I am forgiven by my father, I am still in the process of becoming who He wants me to be. Philippians 1:6 confirms my well-established confidence that “he who began a good work in [me] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

We all grow as a unit while understanding that humility is a lifelong journey. We help each other grow while flipping through textbooks in the living rooms of each other’s apartments. We revel in life’s sweetest moments when we join in worship in chapel or in a long rehearsal that garners great success or even grabbing a milkshake after class and talking about life. There is also the heartbreaking yet inevitable reality of bearing your soul to these Godly individuals, as he uses their hearts to soften mine. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). These such prayers have instilled in me a form of confidence that I cannot describe plainly; they are prayers that my parents and family have longed for me to know the answers to, as I struggled to find such generosity in spirit during my first year of college. John 7:24 advises to “not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”

What a bittersweet sensation to know I am cared for while being challenged. This is healthy. This is warm and loving. This is the kind of trust you must discover in people only if they are of the right heart and spirit.

Friends, realize that you may be in a situation that is unsteady for you. God will send you the right people of heart to pray for you and take care of you, as he is using them as vessels to reveal to you his truth. He leads you to foster relationships with these people, as “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3).

Above all, if you will listen to him, he tells you, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3). You are not alone in your struggles; be smart and humble with how you treat your heart.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

23 Pandemic-Approved Date Ideas That'll Send Sparks Flying From Six Feet Apart

There's a safe way to date right now and yes, it includes masks.


While some people would rather opt out of dating altogether during the pandemic so they don't have to wear a mask on a first date, others are choosing to listen to both guidelines and their heart in order to find love during the time of coronavirus (COVID-19).

Should you be one of the individuals welcoming romance right now, there are pandemic-approved dates you can go on that still adhere to guidelines (and yes, you'll have to wear a mask).

Keep Reading... Show less

20 Books About Latin And Hispanic Heritage Absolutely Everyone Should Have On Their Bookshelf

Any ally of the community needs to be reading these incredible reads.


I go through phases when it comes to what I like to read. I am typically reading two books at any given time: one serious nonfiction and one escapist fiction novel to have on hand and open up depending on my mood.

What remains consistent, however, amongst most of my fellow bibliophiles is a desire to try new and different authors and genres. I, as an Indian woman, have been partial to reading books written by fellow Indian and Desi writers since I first got a library card.

Keep Reading... Show less

In our patriarchal society, men hide from their feelings, but toxic masculinity is literally killing men. They swallow the pain and move on so that they can look, feel, and act "tough."

But, strength is derived from asking for help and voicing your struggle and, trust me, working on your mental health is one hell of a struggle. The real way to "man up" is to acknowledge the downfalls in unjust societal norms. Mental health problems do not mean that a man is weak, they are neurologically-based disorders that require professional treatment.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked 46 Women What They Thought About The Term 'Plus-Size', And Here's What They Had To Say

It's 2020, where change is inevitable and norms are not only questioned, but challenged.


We live in a world where it's become customary to push boundaries, break rules, and question standards upheld by society. Though try as we might, some of these standards are harder to conquer than others — body image is one of the top contenders.

For years, the body positivity movement has pushed for the acceptance of all marginalized body types not represented or celebrated in the media. Recently, we've gotten better at appreciating and accepting all body types, but one thing that's still lingering is the stigma of body image in the fashion industry — more specifically, the term "plus-size."

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Sorry, But 'I Don’t Care About Politics' Is Not A Valid Excuse For NOT Voting

The younger generation of voters is so crucial to the upcoming election because our vote is going to shape the world that we are about to enter as adults.


When I ask my friends if they are voting this term most of them respond with "no" followed by an explanation of "I don't care enough," "It doesn't affect me," or "I don't keep up with politics," etc. I get it, as a college student I know that there are many other things to be concerned about like school, relationships, work, and friends. I also understand that keeping up with politics can seem like trying to keep up with an over-exaggerated reality show that has way too many seasons. Not to mention most news stations and websites are biased so it's hard to decipher if what you hear is true or fake.

However, despite all of this annoyance, as the next generation of Americans, we have to remember that we owe it to ourselves, our families, and to our futures to care.

Keep Reading... Show less

Taylor Swift Sang 'betty' At The ACMs And It Was The Perfect First Live 'folklore' Performance

I guarantee that Inez is spreading rumors about how fire this performance was.


The Academy of Country Music Awards were last night and the performances were wonderful, but Taylor Swift's live version of "betty" from her newest album "folklore" really took the cake for me.

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Anna Hernández-Buces

"Do you have big parties on Cinco de Mayo?"

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

9 Reasons I Unfollowed All The Fitness Influencers On My Instagram Feed

I don't need to feel bad about myself because of who I follow on social media.


Throughout quarantine, something that a lot of us picked up on was working out. With all the free time, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to work on that "dream bod" you've been wanting for years, or to just feel good about yourself.

A common way to stay motivated and keep yourself on-task is to follow fitness influencers on various platforms. For some people, yes, this can be a healthy and helpful way to keep your drive. In other cases, however, this can do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Ultimate Guide To Being A Latinx And Hispanic Community Ally

Educate and celebrate their culture to lift the community up.


It's well known that the Gen-Z and millennial generations are more passionate about social justice and conscious about their decisions as consumers as any other generation to come before us.

For these generations, making mindful decisions about where we like to allocate our money, who we choose to follow on Instagram, and even the books we like to read are extremely important to us. With the rise of the digital age, we are constantly consuming media and content, and so there's no longer an excuse for being uneducated if we want to be educated on a wide range of cultures.

Keep Reading... Show less

It was a day we all knew would possibly come but hoped it never would. The day the outbreak hit.

I remember, back in March, I was just about to return home from a socially distanced vacation in my Florida home with my mom and grandpa, when my dad called to tell us he was feeling sick. At the time, President Trump hadn't closed the borders, my school was still going back after Easter, and sheer panic hadn't yet flooded our news outlets. We were meant to return home on Saturday, but when the borders closed on Thursday, things got a little more serious.

Keep Reading... Show less

21 Romance Novels You'll Fall In Love With By The Fire

It's time to cozy up and fantasize about our fav fictional love stories.


Recently, I found myself reading a bunch of romance novels and it's truly unleashing the romantic side of me. With fall weather nearing, it's the perfect time to cozy up with a good book and ignite the romantic flame in your hearts with the turn of every page.

Here are 21 romantic books you should read this fall, some I've read (hence the reviews), and some I'm hoping to get my hands on.

Keep Reading... Show less

There is a lot going on in the world right now, much of which is contributing to the mental health crisis we've found ourselves in. While it would be fantastic to snap our fingers and jump out of our rut, that's not exactly how these things work. Thankfully, small, sustainable steps can make a huge difference in your mental wellbeing.

Keep Reading... Show less

These 10 Oversized Graphic Tees Are JUST As Cute As Urban Outfitters — And They're All Under $30

There is never a bad time to get some new oversized graphic tees, especially when they're all under $30.


While we all love Urban Outfitters' graphic tees, it can be hard to justify a $40 T-shirt, so I am always on the hunt to find cheaper alternatives that are just as stylish! Thrifting is always an option for authentic, vintage tees, but we don't always have the time to search through the endless aisles of Goodwill.

Lucky for you, there are still affordable alternatives that don't require quite as much effort.

Keep Reading... Show less

On Monday, "Dancing with the Stars" returned to our televisions with their 29th season. This season featured a lot of different changes including a new host, a new judge as well as a new judging system.

Among these changes, there were also changes to account for the coronavirus pandemic. Some of these changes included practicing socially distancing as well as different filming practices.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments