We`ve all been on an emotional overload before. If you`re in school, chances are you`re on overload more than not. There are probably plenty of times where you wish you could just reach over, flip a switch, and stop feeling the thirty different emotions coursing through your body, because only about five of them really make sense and the rest are just there to join the party and stress you out. As much as we would like to have an off-button for our feelings, we don`t. Which means that all of them need to be felt and dealt with at some point or another, even the negative ones—especially the negative ones.
We can`t control what we feel. If we could, there wouldn`t ever be a day where we`re upset and irritated for no reason. There wouldn`t be times when, in the midst of a pretty decent day, we get slammed by a wave of sadness or anger. We can`t control what emotions decide to show up, but we can control what we do about them. While it`s not fair that we don`t get to pick and choose what we feel and yet we still have to deal with those feelings and control what we do about them, it doesn`t change the fact that that`s still what we have to do.
Part of controlling your actions is being aware and being proud of yourself for doing so. Positive reinforcement works, you know. And while at the start it might seem silly to congratulate yourself for acting professionally during that meeting when all you really wanted to do was rip your boss`s head off, you should still pat yourself on the back anyway. On really bad days sometimes my biggest accomplishments are just getting out of bed to shower and brush my teeth, and getting through my shift at work without an emotional collapse. It might seem like the basic things you need to do to be a functioning member of society, but when you`re overwhelmed and your headspace isn`t clear, it can be difficult.
But just because you manage to not let your negative emotions turn into negative actions, doesn`t mean that that gets you out of having to work through them. You`re still going to need to evaluate what you`re feeling, why you might be feeling it, and ways to actually work through and past whatever the negative emotion is. It might mean having a difficult conversation with someone you care about, taking care of responsibilities that you`ve been putting off, or just having a good crying session. Whatever the solutions may be, you need to take steps toward them. Managing to keep a lid on your feelings while you`re in class, at work, or at family dinner, doesn`t mean that you have effectively dealt with the emotion itself, it just means that you didn`t make the last twenty minutes of the lecture/meeting/meal uncomfortable for everyone else around you.
No one ever wants to experience negative emotions, and with good reason. But they`re a part of life and there are going to be times where they overwhelm you. That`s normal—unpleasant, but normal. The important part is how you deal with yourself and your feelings from that point on. Once you feel something you can`t rewind and not feel it. So when life and feelings get you wishing that your brain had an off-switch, take a deep breath and remember that you`ve gotten through this before and you`re going to get through it again. Even if you can`t deal with the emotion itself right at the time that you feel it, you`ll be able to make it to the end of your class day or work day without life collapsing in around you and you`ll be thankful to yourself for being strong enough to do that. Then when you get home and you`re in your pajamas reflecting back on the roller coaster of a day that you had, you can start getting to the bottom of things. You can`t control what you feel, but you can keep what you feel from controlling you.